Hey, I’m not sure if Kinja will give it (or this, for that matter) the placement it deserves, but commenter jayed_coins rightly dinged me for the “China purchasing our debt” thing, and I’m glad he did, because I was clumsy as hell in choosing the items for that list, and if nothing else it torpedoes what could have…

One time I tried hitting on girls at a club. It ended so poorly that I went home and tried to commit suicide with a Gillette brand Fusion razor. I didn’t finish the job, but the snail trail left behind from the Gillette Fusion tricked my friends into thinking I had gotten laid.

Step 1: Don’t go to clubs. Nothing good ever happens at clubs

Even as a seven-year-old, I was so baffled at the drug lyceums my school would have where they claimed that drug dealers hang around the playground, give kids stickers with acid or LSD on them, and then the kids are hooked on drugs FOREVER! My allowance was $1 a week, I could not afford drugs. That’s just a horrible…

Dang.

I am SO goddamn sick of people confusing “trash talking” with “outright vulgarity.” It is 100% possible to have friendly banter between competing individuals without resorting to senseless vulgarity. There’s not even anything clever or funny about how he unloaded onthe guy. He just strung as many curse words as he…

I wish Kojima just said “because I want to dress her that way.” It seems like a more honest and less eye-roll worthy reason.

so youre saying that cannon is canon? ;)

You’re right - if it isn’t movie quality they shouldn’t bother. In fact, fuck them for even trying.

White people who are really fucking high and have a disposible amount of money but lack the sense that the gods gave oysters.

Wouldn’t free ketchup actually be commie? Charging for it is very American and capitalist.

That sounds like something a white man would say.

Here is mine.

But does he roll on Shabbas?

You mean it’s fjord-flavored? But what flavor were the fjords before they put the ice cream in?

A strange book. The only winning move is not to butter.

The problem with suspension of disbelief is when they try SO HARD to keep things realistic and based in science - but then, when it suits them. They simply throw a curveball and go “Oh no, this doesn’t follow the rules - this one is SPECIAL!”.

Mass is the amount of matter, weight is the effect that gravity has on that matter, volume is the space it fills. So if you decrease the volume, but gravity and mass remain constant, you’d have the weight problems shown in the comic and a huge density.

That is some amazing writing and voice over work.