You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums.

I totally see the next one. Mike brown, black licorice and #rebelheartlivesmatter

Clearly they did not make their saving throw.

Getting a d10 stuck up someone's nose seems perfectly ordinary and reasonable if you've ever played D&D and wanted to cram your dice into all of your GM's face holes.

...Planter's Peanuts truck in Toronto this weekend...thankfully, no peanuts on board, only paper. Disaster averted. http://www.640toronto.com/2014/12/13/tru…

Maybe if he bought 99 Nokia phones instead, they could have been... N-Gage'd

You now owe me one hundred Nazi scalps... and I want my scalps!

Except that Louisville won last year.

NAILED it!

Maybe I'm just a speed skating purist, but I still don't think they should be allowed to use the blue spiked turtle shell in medal races.

If in 2014 you still believe 9/11/01 was carried out by Islamic terrorists and not the U.S. Gov't, then you are still correct.

We close now with one final thought about a lonely woman, a woman by herself in a harsh and unforgiving world, a woman so isolated that she invents a beary-boy to love just to ease the pain of being the last living woman on Earth. For, you see, we're much luckier than she. We live in a world of sunlight, laughter, and…

Something I apparently inherited from my dad without realizing it is a tendency to address the family pets with a lot of barely-rhymed gibberish. Had a golden retriever named Tucker that led to a lot of unfortunate stanzas.