They should open a sub shop together and call it We can’t identify a photoshopped jersey Mikes’.

I think someone who uses Twitter is a Tweeter?

Ah, it’s all part of the fucking HRM now anyway. So Sid's stuck being a Haligonian with us Spryfielders now. 

I feel like 400,000 residents of Halifax rose as one to yell to Johnny Weir “He’s from fucking Cole Harbour, buddy”

Well, I know the Mack Khalil will make you jump, jump. As I assume, will the Khalil Mack.

Non-competes are ubiquitous in TV news, and have snaked their way into online journalism (there’s technically some kind of non-compete in the GMG union contract IIRC) though they really only ever get enforced in TV, though they are very severely enforced (mostly because local TV stations don’t want their chief…

He tossed his bat, caught it, and said ‘fuck.’ The whole exchange took, what, maybe four actual seconds? Who gives a shit?

They should be upset that they have such a fucking hall monitor on their team tsk tsking dudes for being annoyed that they hit a foul ball for two fucking seconds.

Fun fact: “straight class” is what Mike Pence tried to add to Indiana’s education curriculum, in light of his own insecurities about his mastery of the subject.

Around the final 100 meters, Kejelcha believed that he was tripped by Barega, so he pulled on his compatriot’s uniform, sending both of them to the ground.

I dunno, the way Gomez stayed down suggests two guys, one cup.

That’s twice this year the Eagles have stunned the patriots.

When asked if he was still experiencing side effects, Farquhar said, “I used to smell onions, but that’s all ogre now.”

And just because I can never pass up an opportunity for this one: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hafner_Rotabuggy

“Could be worse.”

To Barry’s credit, this is by far the worst season in the history of the franchise, so he was at least right about that.

I just don’t think I’ve ever heard of a progressive, unmarried, child-free couple that wasn’t inundated with a metric ton of cats and dogs.

Although, on that note (and I know I’m going to catch shit for this), I always find it embarrassing as shit when someone tries substituting children with pets. Like... this person…

It’s even worse where I live now, in North Carolina – people are obsessed with hanging runner-up flags from 153 years ago

Goddamn kids. Not that kind of rally!

Later that night they planned to burn a large wooden T on someone’s lawn. To let them know it was the Tennis team.