If an 18-year-old says he scored nine times, it means he maaaybe got one handjob.

That’s a bullshit way to break up a no-hitter. 

This is exactly why I never exercise. Nobody’s legs ever went kerblooey while sitting down having a snack.

When I saw the headline I thought this was going to be an article about his contract.

Tarantino can make one hell of a movie *because* he’s weird as shit.

Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show is underrated Diamond. 

I hate that Brad Pitt still has abs at his age and I’m out of shape and wasting my time on my laptop and commenting on how smart or dumb Drogon is.

“Say ‘You got it, dude’!”

National Receiver Association > National Rifle Association.

I hope he said something cool as he took the gunman down, like “sorry, son. You just entered a Lowe security area.”

As the oldest of three brothers I find it really hard to hype up an accounts manager and a systems engineer via social media

“We don’t need to watch every tape” - Robert Kraft

That’s why Eli can’t be defeated by Belichick’s traditional methods. You can’t confuse the perpetually confused.

that is amazing. 

I am 100% for stereotyping MRA dickheads based on their choice of sunglasses alone.  I have yet to be proven wrong on this. 

Me: Please. Aubrey Huff doesn’t have any fans.

Eugene McCarthy said that to be a football coach, you have to be smart enough to understand the game, but dumb enough to think it’s important.

Jokic does throw his literal weight around quite a bit, but not typically in ways that I think are unfair.  The play you point out is an exception (he really did shove Kanter, two hands, fully extended), but for the most part what I am seeing is two guys ramming shoulders, and one is just bigger and stronger.  That’s…

I’m so glad she told that cop she was scared of him. I feel like there’s some kind of unspoken stereotype of black folk not feeling emotions like “fear” or “sadness” or “ennui” or “existential terror”. We only get “animalistic anger” or “child-like jolliness”. And we all know what the cops zero in on and expect to…