The real issue here is traumatized teenagers not being more nuanced in their statements. Come on, sheeple, focus on the facts!

Honestly, and this is horrible, but I kind of just assumed he did. I would be more surprised to find out that he comported himself appropriately.

Honest question: what the fuck? I am old and increasingly jaded, but how the hell was this monster allowed to do what he did, and have it covered up for so long? Who with the USOC or USA Gymnastics got this information and made the decision to conceal; decided that Nassar needed protection? Why was he not tossed to…

Only shocking detail of this story is that Big Ben didn’t rape anyone. Color me surprised!

Fair question. Fair-fucking-question.

Dolly is my wife’s all-time favorite. Took her to a concert last year, and she was spectacular. Such a professional on stage; warm, kind, funny, talented and still a great voice. Incredible songwriter, incredible singer, incredible philanthropist. She is the best! And “Jolene” is a friggin’ killer song.

It’s been said before, but bears repeating: dude definitely enjoys the smell of his own farts.

Shit, son, the ticker? I remember being in a FF league in college in which we had to wait until the Tuesday morning paper for Dave, the future accountant, to skip Accounting 101 to compile stats and scores. Now, if Yahoo isn’t updating that Derrick Henry 1 yard scamper within 3 seconds of the whistle, I am losing my…

In all fairness, pretty garbage lineup.

One thing the CFP has clearly, inarguably accomplished is producing some flat-out incredible championship games. Ohio State-Oregon was a dog, but last 3 have been incredible. Each one a classic. Now I have to figure out how to spend the next three years hating on ‘Bama with Tua at QB. Jesus Christ, fuck ‘Bama and Nick…

1. Dipshit is attending a Championship game between ‘Bama and Georgia in Atlanta. And boos were essentially equal to applause. Telling.

Does anyone know why this fucker takes his shirt off all the time? Besides the obvious mental illness that is.

Dude, as a committed hetero man, sexy Nick Offerman is making me feel differently. Man looks awesome.

No way. These two walking personifications of the masculine ideal would never do such things.

Yeah, probably not a good time.

The Salt Lake Saints! Wait...

I realize this can easily be characterized as a gross overreaction, but when do we just acknowledge that: a) America is broken, and b) no real solution exists. A statistically significant portion of the population believes this nonsense, or substantial portions of this nonsense. I would posit that these persons are…

It’s been a good run, people.

His substance of choice: taut asses of female talent.

Matthew Berry?!?! Where is my fainting couch...