Trump cannot math because he has the dumb.

I’m not sure you understand...the Mescans are gonna pay for it.

This is exactly how I sounded when I ran for president of student government in 5th grade. All big ideas born out of a complete lack of comprehension for how things worked, zero actual concrete method for accomplishing anything.

“I’ll take out the tanbark and put in sand!”
“How?”
“... With... truuuuucks?”

FWIW, I lost to…

So why weren’t the Japanese worth protecting? Racist aliens?

Does Janelle Monae think Janelle Monae was cut off? I watched this live and noticed her audio dropped out briefly, but I think it was typical Today Show awkwardness. Her song was over, and they were already cutting to commercial. Then she was back on for the next hour and was given ample time to speak. If she was…

Wendy it is rude to make fun of babies. They can’t defend themselves. And to be fair she is HUGE compared to other 2 year-olds

Thank you for using the story of a woman’s horrifying rape and murder to make a far-flung snarky comparison so you can insult some internet commenters you don’t like.

Because Christmas trees aren’t religious. They’re literally Pagan in origin. You think there were many conifers in Bethlehem? Also, unless you’re completely out of touch with the modern understanding of a Christmas tree, you’d be able to tell that it’s lost most of its connection with Christmas and the connection…

Remember when they declared war on christmas? It totally sucks because now you can't get any christmas.

Soon they’ll be interviewing the Easter Bunny and demanding that he take sides.

Do whatever you want as long as you and your kids go live in the woods away from everyone else.

“esoteric immunizations”? Is that when they inject you with tellurium so you’re immunized against vampires?

Well there is now...

Is anyone else hoping that lip syncing replaces karaoke? Cuz I can’t sing for shit, but I can lip sync the hell out of The Devil Went Down to Georgia.

Guys it is like that saying ‘you have to break a few poor people to make an omelette’ or some shit, who can remember?

You mean like this?

Honestly, is it any more humiliating than that full-body scan that basically sends a naked picutre of me to some dude in a back room? Air travel is such an undignified trial.

I’ve been on a few trips in my life where we’ve either been asked for our weights ahead of time or actually weighed at the airport. These are always on little planes where a difference of 50 pounds matters and frankly, I’m happy to jump on a scale if that’s helping to keep my plane in the air.

Its Uzbekestan airline, not surprised , Samoa Air has been doing it for a while.