Wouldn't support his own kids on this.

They might not exactly be purebreds.

"I didn't know the legacy of the Republican Party included women correcting men in public."

And yet, here you are.

If you're really into this, you can fold the end of the toilet paper into one of those arrow shapes.

Smallpox vaccination was fairly routine before it was eradicated in the 70s [1]. This suggests that in case of such an attack, older people might be fine.

Cruz, who as a Harvard-educated Tea Party politician, is accustomed to being the smartest guy in the room [1], is also having trouble adjusting to a situation where he's among the dumbest.

That's pretty much what the Tea Party wing of the GOP [1] does—no real plans or purpose of their own beyond "if Democrats, progressives and/or President Obama is for it, we'll fight it tooth and toenail." [2] They're antagonistic for the sake of being antagonistic.

Two-inch margins, "visually impaired" type size—and it'll barely crack 100 pages.

Okay, it wasn't as witty as I expected (although initially, I inferred that Turtle was Hartney's performing partner). Verbally kinda dull, in fact.

Is anyone with a plausible shot running against her besides Blasio?

Wonderful recipe, as always, but what I'd change is:

Creepiest thing about death penalty advocates: You point out that innocent people are occasionally executed and their response is along the lines of "So what?"

That, and I think it's also a way for these sick cretins to symbolically diddle anonymous women while pretending to be upstanding pillars of the community.

I'm thinking the off-line equivalent of trolls.

This is probably obvious, but get whatever advanced directive they want about their care nailed down, typed up, dated and signed (preferably with a notary, and also preferably countersigned by their primary care physician). Then make sure a copy is someplace where you can lay hands on it in a hot second—especially if…

For condoms? People, the NYPD will arrest you because you walked across a cop's shadow. Because they got bored. Because it's Tuesday. Because the Nets lost. Because the Nets won. Because the ability to make arrests (along with cotton-poly uniforms and a pension plan) is what distinguishes them from…

Not just that.

I am horrified to report that it bears the logo of the City of New York (not sure which agency). My tax dollars at work.

I don't want to live like that, and I don't want anyone else to live like that.