All that education, and no common sense.

You guys. I have always loooooved the big, thick brows, on both men and women. They have so much personality! But unfortunately, I have thin, blonde brows that just don't grow on the inside... like, my brow doesn't even start until right where the outer part of the iris lines up. It's nearly impossible to try to shape…

Sometimes you joke because there is no way to express sufficient outrage. And especially because, right here, right now, anger and outrage seems especially impotent.

I live in rural Michigan so it's not uncommon to see huge farm equipment driving down the road all over the place. Several years ago, I came up behind a combine who was going even slower than normal. The driver had moved as far to the side of the road as possible but I was wondering why he was going SO slow. I moved…

I delivered pizza for Papa John's in college. I quit in a blaze of glory, both birds flying, when the manager told me he'd fire me if I refused to deliver to a set of motels after dark. At the time there was an un-apprehended violent rapist attacking women in motel parking lots in my town. I told him I'd take every…

Love means never having to ask "Will you help me hide this body?"

All of the goddamn NO in the world goes to this. We'll be sending around a collection plate, so you can tithe 10% of your NO. If there's any NO left, please send it to the This Situation Is Fucked PO Box.

Lord have mercy...in one movie Charles Dance, Mark Strong, Matthew Goode AND Cumberbatch. Ahhhh sweet tingling joy. AND oh yeah they are all wearing suits...SQUEEE!!!!

There are so many pretty people in this film. Will watch.

This is why Crumbs has failed, and it is only partially to do with the eternally changing trends in desserts: Crumbs cupcakes are horrible.

To all of us who are living with Crohn's or UC, I think you are all so brave and powerful even if we don't feel that way sometimes. I don't think the general public *quite* understands these diseases. Especially the pain. On the bright side, I only had it about 7 years and have been in remission for more than 10…

I have Crohn's (though it's in remission) and though I wouldn't have actively committed suicide (isn't "commit" a weird word for suicide?), but I WISHED for death. I was too tired to breathe. I lost 37 lbs. between one semester of university to the next. It was godawfully painful. I had diarrhea about 20-25 times a…

Pollyanna here! I love my kids. They probably saved my life. I was a hard-partying girl, but I always knew I wanted kids. They forced me to settle down and be a responsible adult. It was hard to admit to my super-feminist mom that the only thing I really wanted to do was be a Mom.

My Dori demands the HIGHEST quality of paper, toilet paper, cotton balls, cake mixes, Cold-Eezz cough drops from my husband's bag, bagels she's pulled off the counter, discarded dryer sheets and what appeared to be a Apple Remote.

I see Blue Buffalo AND Purina, lists none of those things on their bags. I demand…

I know how special weddings are. I had a wedding. It was a special day. But I think the *most* special day in the course of my relationship with my husband was the day I realized I wanted to be with him forever. The wedding was just the formality. And a party.

Not a traditional chlorine-pool based water park. There was a warm, stagnant pond at the water park and that's where she got it. This amoeba lives in the sand of almost all freshwater bodies but is only active when the water is above 80. You have to kick up the sand and suck the water in through your nose. It is a…

Madonna tends to get a lot of shit directed her way, and I've directed some of it. But by god, if I look that good when I'm her age, I want a goddamned medal.

My cat died today. She was just three years old. I am reeling, and I'm glad that people value the lives of these animals enough to halt subway operations for an hour to save them.

The Yaz commercials are still going strong. I swear to God, I saw one that actually asked, "Have you suffered any conditions like these, such as death, heart palpitations...?"

Can she sue the people that keep flashing those "Vaginal Mesh Lawsuit" Commercials I keep seeing? I don't if it's playing nationwide (I'm in Chicago). GOOD LORD those are annoying. I'll be watching a Boy Meets World marathon and then super loud "ARE YOU A WOMAN WHO HAD A VAGINAL MESH/SLING IMPLANTED???"