Things my dad taught me:

I wouldn’t let him pay off all my debts and buy me an apartment even if all he wanted was for me to say “thank you,” let alone sleep with him.

I’m not sure that I haven’t

How much have I had to drink? Has it blinded me as well as left me incapable of sensible choices and left me without a sense of smell? Am I currently on a pass from a psychiatric institution and mixing their meds with that sight and smell killing liquor? Do I really REALLY hate myself? I mean, like,…

I am so sorry for that family. And so enraged by the doctor who played on their hopes and the politicians who made a dying child a talking point.

That child with a baby is only three years older than my sweet, dumb (in an endearing, adolescent way) son. He doesn’t have a full driver’s license yet. He’s hoping to land his first after school job soon. The thought of him procreating three years from now makes me feel light-headed.

He’s 19?! Oy.

I have no clue who they are. I kind of weirdly liked the name Gravity at first, although the cruel kid nickname will probably be Gravel.

Literally a Margaret Atwood quote come to life.

I didn’t want to speak up, but now I am grateful to be getting these responses: Not that I’’m relieved that so many have suffered, but it is making be angry that the medical industry doesn’t seem interested in pursuing the matter.

I don’t know which one you have (there are so many) and I won’t ask. But when I was diagnosed, they put 2 and 2 together (my medical history) and determined that I have probably had it for 15 years and didn’t know it. There is nothing that could have been done, but there are CERTAINLY some things that I would not have…

I admit that I’m older than 40, but I was under the impression this wouldn’t happen for a while yet, if at all. I also have an Autoimmune Disorder, and it has never been this bad, and I don’t even watch the news. If I did...........

Perry the Platypus

The thing is he ISN’T a real believer, he’s just really good at being an opportunist.

I hope I don’t offend anyone with one of my favorite doggy gifs, but this is what I imagine when I think of Johnny on a shopping spree

So tired of seeing your shit responses to nearly every fucking article. Do you have anything resembling a life outside of this website? John McCain has accomplished more in 1 year than you will in your entire life sitting around looking for stars on Kinja. Get fucked.

These photos are embarrassing, get over yourself.

I can’t. I can’t make jokes about this, or find it funny, or think “oh jeez THIS guy” or any of that fucking bullshit. Because at the end of the motherfucking day, I am raising my daughter in a world that is REGRESSING instead of PROGRESSING in terms of women’s rights and that makes me fucking sick to my stomach. It…

I am just so embarrassed.

You mean nobody wants us to host the Olympics, right? Because if teachers and doctors can’t get in, I highly doubt a bunch of athletes of multiple ethnic, religious, and cultural backgrounds are going to be let in!