That's a really meaningful argument you're making. Why not just call him a racist and get it over with? That's obviously where this is headed next.

How is anyone able to pay for their Slurpee if you're spending all day writing irrelevant rebuttals to anyone who dares to disagree with you on the Internet. Don't get me wrong, the time-honored tradition of letting everyone know how much more in tune you are with racism than the other guy is always a winner in chat…

Before you can talk to me about racism, my strawman would like a word with you.

... and with that, we slowly take away the cutting ability of accusing someone of racism, like a knife that's been dragged across the whetstone too many times. It used to be that racism kept people from having equal access or equal protection under the law, but now it's about a guy just trying to get more white asses…

Her standard of living is about to take a serious nosedive. I'll bet she definitely regrets it now.

I can understand why Franklin's excited about having a clean slate in Happy Valley; for all of the sanction-worthy behavior he's got planned for the Nitt's, he's going to need all the room to write he can muster.

You're absolutely correct — I didn't see the "TABLE 21 - 4 GUESTS" on the check.

$61 for lunch around Happy Hour? I'm not sure it wasn't McCoy who just got robbed.

What are "scare quotes?"

The problem with that line of reasoning is that college football begat the NFL in the first place. "If college football did not exist" there would be no NFL.

What's the "market value" for their services when there's no other market?

Tom Ley shilling for ESPN?

Troll harder, bro.

Big Summer for Sucker Punching in the Big Ten.

take the DH out of baseball, please.

I was worried that Maddux would enter the HOF without this generation ever knowing that he was the most self-effacing, goofball, multiple Cy Young award winning dweeb on the planet, until he talked about lighting his own farts during his induction speech and Petchesky re-aired this gem.

Hunter Pence never has a second cup of coffee at home.

Suddenly, I don't give a holy fuck that the shitter doesn't work in your missile silo.

Give 'er the gun?

HUNTER PENCE IS NONE THE RICHER.