Period shits are roughly the same level of health problem as hangover shits.

"On a semi-related note, I was able to talk a manager at KFC into honoring an expired coupon for a free pot pie yesterday. So we're all big winners at life this week!"

Could not be laughing any harder if I tried right now.

Nutella Cronut Holes you say? Yes please.

yes, everyone, this. alpha wolves are not a real thing. neither are alpha dogs. also, dogs have been domesticated for many thousands of years and their behavior barely resembles wolf behavior which, once again, does not involve strict alpha/beta hierarchies. the idea that they do is literally 70 years outdated.…

Oh god, I thought everyone outside of the pickup artisty cesspools of the internet knew the alpha wolf thing wasn't even real in the WOLF context by now. Egads.

In any case, the Uber driver I had a few months ago who stopped driving Solange and Beyoncé because he said they were "rude" and "not that pretty" is probably feeling really vindicated right now.

Yes, please validate rape boy, ladies. You haven't lived until rape boy shows you what a nice guy he is, right, rape boy?

I'm sorry, but every time I hear someone talk about how Mother's day is a manufactured piece of shit Hallmark holiday and OH MY GOD THEY WILL NOT BE A PART OF THAT, MOTHERFUCKERS....

I hear it occasionally. I think what really gets a lot of parents is the repetitiveness of dealing with kids, and how constant and endless it is, topped with worry. You do the same things, especially when they're little: change diaper, feed, burp, put to sleep, play with baby, take to toilet, read same bedtime story…

I didn't want kids when I got married 32 years ago. Now, I'm really happy to say I didn't give in to the societal pressures that still existed then. And so many of my friends whispered "you were right" after their kids were born

But yeah, let's all get pissy and outraged over some stock photos! That's really important right now. Fuck.

Yeah, this shit is getting waaay too #Kony2012 for me. Call me a cynical bastard, but Boko Haram was raping and killing off civilians en masse for years while the Nigerian government looked the other way (when it wasn't actively bribing them with weapons and funding.) And nobody in the international community gave a…

it's not like a social media campaign was going to bring the girls back anyway so it's not like the fact that these photos were misappropriated for this campaign will actually affect the fate of the kidnapped Nigerian girls but i understand your point that they should at least have used pictures of Nigerian girls.

Chips, pasta, salads.

I'm sorry, I got stuck on "full-on fat-girl diet." I'm sure, with that attitude, that her column will be very helpful and informative.

I think the point isn't that her ass isn't great (clearly, it is), the point is that a great ass does not qualify one to be a journalist.