Pawnee Rules! Eagelton Drools!

There is something so sweet about people going out of their way to make strangers happy.

I posted this under another user's comment, but this is another fantastic commercial that will make you sob your eyes out (totally worth it though).

Always looking for a reason to bring out this little gem...

Look, we can all post gifs!

This is so great in so many ways but this is my favorite part is that he's only managed to sleep with 48 people. Even with lies and exaggerations, his number is 48.

"And campus isn't the only place with hoes. They are everywhere: coffee shops, bars, clubs, grocery stores, malls, etc."

I'm sure you never once made something "all about yourself" back in your youth, when you were a teenage Gandhi.

Have teenagers literally ever in history been humble and sensitive?

THERE IS NO EAGLETON ANYMORE!

I bet you don't even own a television. Tell me all about who you think is the most underrated beat poet.

That will lit-rally never happen.

DON'T SCARE US WITH YOUR MISLEADING HEADLINES, JEZEBEL. LEARN JOURNALISM!!11!!

I had neither a car nor clear skin, but I still think high school might have been the best point of my life. I mean, I didn't understand how royally fucked up the world was yet. That's got to count for something, right?

Having recently re-read my diary...

When I was 18, I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't sentimental,so I threw out my diaries and hundreds of conversation-long notes that my friends and I had passed to each other. I'd give almost anything to be able to read all those again.

I guess it's going to be a chilly Halloween.