Long gone is the era wherein people generally minded their own goddamn business.

Forget the ridiculous third reason for a moment. Why do there seem to be so many otherwise intelligent people who don’t seem to understand that the vast majority of the time it’s not appropriate to act on your sexual impulses? Literally everyday of the week I work with and walk by women that I am attracted to,…

He referenced his own romantic experiences in a lab setting and how they were “disruptive to the science”

Things got really awkward near the end of the night when the CIA showed up and killed the Castro impersonator.

No. Hawaii is awful. It’s too hot and full of huge bugs. Don’t come here. Also, surfing is dangerous and sucks. Don’t try it.

If it comes with tomato soup then that’s fine by me. I love grilled cheese sandwiches. Sand Witches.

I have a fleur de lis on my wrist that I got pretty much just because I like it, but I tell people I’m in a gang. A gang of 17th century French aristocrats. We’re called the Crêpes.

All I know is you’ll be paying off your wizard loan for the rest of your life.

It doesn’t magically create them. House elves work the kitchens that exist directly below the great hall and the food is teleported up to the tables.

“HOME MOVIES”

Oh come on. He was at least top 8 and a half.

Well, ITD is always a pissing contest of who had the cheapest, most lentil-filled wedding and who put upon their guests the least. “I DIDN’T REGISTER FOR ANYTHING INSTEAD I GAVE EACH OF MY GUESTS A $20 BILL AS A WEDDING FAVOR AND INSTEAD OF ASKING PEOPLE TO FLY IN FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY WE DID A CEREMONY AT EVERY…

It’s made by original hosers.

Damn, I knew the two worst groups of people on earth were

His and hers?

I have never before been rendered apoplectic with rage by a “straw”. The proverbial back breaker, I guess.

she’s marrying a raw vegan

I wonder if she listens to William Joel.

I really want to believe he gives himself pep talks in the mirror each morning: “Make it a great day, JJ!” “You got this one, JJ!” And then alternately berates himself each night.

Not to blow up a comment section, but I can’t stress enough that I find it disgusting that you played the misogyny card over what you felt was poor customer service. Feminism is for helping the oppressed, not for whiny middle-class college-educated white women to abuse when they don’t get what they want at a store. If…