I know you have gotten a ton of responses, but to me the red flags here aren’t the situation, but how you write about it. If you were in the headspace to have a casual, fun affair with a married guy in an open relationship your post would not have been the rambling messof trying to convince yourself you are not going…

You do realize that men in these situations are liars who construct their own reality that supports their wants and happiness and has nothing to do with what other people (wives) need much less anything having to do with the truth?

THIS, a thousand times. Bad relationship decisions are small potatoes compared to the awful decision to go to law school (from someone who graduated last week and is on the verge of a nervous breakdown trying to find a job). Don’t do it!!!!

All love and respect due, but these comments are not people being rigid about nontraditional relationships, honey. This is a bunch of women who read your description of this man’s behavior, recognized it from past mistakes, and are telling you what a strong, independent woman learns to do in response to the all too…

You’re asking for advice and then rejecting what you get. A lot of us have been where you are, and we’re trying to spare you. Frankly, this sounds like self destructive behaviour. I’m not a professional, but I’m seeing someone who has constricted themselves for a very long time out of fear and now you’re looking for…

It sounds like he enjoys dating strong, independent women. Watch that... his W is a strong independent woman and she’s learned to just accept his arrangement to have affairs. He wants to show you the world, ever wonder why he’s no longer interested in doing that with his W? Ever wonder why he had to remind you he…

There are lots of folks here that think that any relationship that is not monogamous is automatically wrong. And lots of them are commenting. Ignore those. You aren’t starting from the same point as those people. I have done exactly what you are doing now. I was young, hot, smart. This wasn’t that long ago - I met the…

You’re not the one that’s having an affair, you’re single. The words, power, balance, tips, tricks in your post scream red flags. I think you know in your heart this won’t end well, for you. I don’t judge you, I could give two shits about the moral aspect. You’ve said you’ve had some screwed up relationships, this…

the worst part about your story is that you are going to law school. DON’T FUCKING DO IT! Sorry, I just couldn’t get past the law school part. But for reals. Bad idea. Unless your mom/dad/uncle is a judge or something. Then it might be worth it. Sigh.

I don’t know if my story is really applicable to you, but I offer it for whatever its is worth. When I started law school I was in a relationship that was borderline at best. I wasn’t sure of my feelings about him, but we were long distance so I thought that I could compartmentalize my feelings about that relationship…

I think he chose you because you are smart and he knows that you think you are in control. I do think he sounds manipulative and I think there is very possibly more to all of this that is not being disclosed. If you are the type of person who can't jyst fuck someone and forget about it you might be setting yourself up…

I’ve been there. I’m there now. I thought I was over Married Man but I’m not. I understand the strange intense pull. Let’s make a list of strengths and challenges. Strengths: the sex is good, they seem to have an open marriage, you deserve fun! Your smart, attractive, accomplished and have a good future ahead of you.

I heartily disagree with the idea that all men are manipulative. There is a reason you are drawn to manipulative sexual partners. Maybe it’s that right now you like the game. That’s okay, do you. Sometimes drama is fun for a good lay, but don’t get completely caught up in your own bullshit that you start labeling a…

I clearly don’t know you, but from your post......

It seems like you’re not getting the advice you want, but you’re being told what you NEED to hear.

You are asking for advice, but it seems like you mostly want us all to tell you to go for it and that it will be fantastic. Your entire post is so littered with red flags though that it is really, really impossible for me to tell you to sleep with this married, manipulative narcissist who is playing mind games with…

I know I’m late to the party and no one will see this, but I’m going to shout it from the rooftops anyway:

How do you know they have a somewhat open arrangement? Has she spoken to you about it?

Don’t go to the party. Plan on coming down with a 24 hour bug that morning, send your regrets and a small gift to the birthday girl, and take your other friend to the movies or something fun instead.

I don’t know where you get the idea that older gens envy the young because they’ve got more time. You could not pay me to go back and do it all again. I’m not sorry I did, all kinds of great stuff happened, there were lots of adventures, and, for what it’s worth, there was lots of sex, not that most of it was all that…