The biggest household fight my husband and I ever had was when he asked “do you want me to take out the trash?” Oh no, dear. I’m saving that trash; I was really looking forward to taking it out myself. No shit, I want you to take out the trash.

I’ve got thighs to match my butt and these work for me! Any shorter and they... would not.

I do! And they’re not like a magic solution - but they’re way better than any other shorts I’ve got. I got the 26 and it fits my waist while still having plenty of room for my butt and while the thighs aren’t roomy, they don’t look like gym teacher shorts either (all sucked up under my butt crease).

As a big-bottomed gal, I absolutely just went to the mall and bought two pairs of those madewell shorts.

The fiber in fruit actually slows your digestion of the sugar content, so it’s not just that you’re throwing out the good stuff - but you’re actually making the bad stuff worse.

And the fiber actually slows digestion of the sugar so you don’t get it all at once when you eat the whole fruit.

One weekend I started getting text messages from unknown numbers asking if I was available for outcalls and how much my rates are. Like, every 30-40 minutes. I finally responded to one and said “I’m not looking to get anyone in trouble but this is definitely a wrong number; where did you get it so I can fix it?” Come…

Train yourself to say something immediately. Every moment that passes before you finally say something makes it exponentially more embarrassing for the person being corrected since you clearly saw it there for x number of minutes. An in-the-moment “oh, there’s something in your teeth” as soon as they start talking is…

Do you know that the cops might not remove that person? They often refuse to remove a peaceful trespasser where there are questions of rights (as in, is this contract valid? what does it cover?) and will tell you to file suit in civil court.

I was SO HAPPY when I thought they were gonna kill him off. He’s boring and predictable.

When Obama would come to Hawaii, they brought everything. His whole motorcade had DC plates.

You can’t do it every day - but maybe on a weekend? Honestly, what else are you doing?

Yes! Can you do one class a semester at a community college and pay as you go? Some are very affordable and give you a chance to try out different things - plus it’s generally a nontraditional student body so you probably won’t feel too out of place.

Take your doggo out and first make dog friends! Then ask the parents of your dog’s friends who you like most to make specific plans to hang out together - with or without the dogs.

Honestly, I can’t even fathom why a rich person would *want* to do all this work. Work is for suckers! Just go home and swim in your money.

I get it. I really do. But it’s an awful cycle. I’VE been giving wedding gifts for the last 15 years and now that it’s my turn, we’re deciding we don’t do that anymore? Bullshit.

It is so satisfying to be the cat master! I’ve lived with cats before but this one I have now is the first one to like me best. It’s wonderful.

The “super cells” ARE the cancer cells. That’s undisputed.

My dermatologist prescribed Hylatopic for me recently and it’s AMAZING. It’s just a super high-end moisturizer and I’m sure that they’d be charging $$$$ for it on the consumer market if they hadn’t found a way to charge $$$$$$$ to insurance companies for it. It’s described as being for post-radiation rashes and things…

It might be because your skin is very dry? This happens to me too - my skin sucks the moisture out of every product leaving just crumbs behind! A good moisturizer and then a moisturizing primer after that have helped a whole lot.