So then you have to make a choice here: do you want to allow all students of all ages and genders to wear all forms of tank tops and sleeveless or strapless shirts? Sure, then just take out that phrase and actually change your expectations for students. But I’m sure you can see why a district might not think that’s a…

I wouldn’t let him wear it to school. Because spaghetti straps are on the list of things the school says aren’t allowed for any student. But if tank tops aren’t excluded - and I don’t think they are here, then I would allow a child (of any gender) to wear a tank top if that’s what s/he wanted to wear and it was…

I guess I just don’t buy the premise that there’s such a thing as “boys clothing.” If my son wanted to wear the purple spaghetti strap top that caught his eye at the store, he wouldn’t be allowed to either. My fight is with the first part of the equation - that there’s such a thing as gendered clothing just because…

And I would think that’s an improvement over the current code. But as it stands right now, everyone can wear tank tops and that would change the actual allowable range of clothing choices.

That’s why I didn’t open with it. I don’t think it matters. But I thought it might matter to someone who quotes the terribly elitist cliche that “those who can’t do, teach.”

The kid’s fault for what? If anyone is “at fault” for anything here, it’s the dad who sent her to school knowing that she was in violation of the dress code. And if he didn’t know, he should have - it’s in the student handbook that he received at the beginning of the year.

“Disparate impact” is a term of art that exists within a legal practice and any googling would return results related to legal theories. I didn’t try to pretend that this a legal issue, you did.

Yeah, cool. I’m sure no transgender kid in the district appreciates it.

I just feel really bad for all the commenters whose very small kids seem to run the show. If you’re letting a 5 year-old decide what she will and won’t wear to school, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of hurt.

Well, her dad is actually the only person in this story who is suggesting that there’s a sexual dimension to this. He doesn’t claim that any adult at the school actually said anything like that to him or his daughter - just that spaghetti straps are against the rules.

Did you find the same was true before puberty? I think the majority of this discussion deals with very young girls whose parents can’t find appropriate clothes for them at Target. I guess I had no idea that the under-10 set was wearing such finely-tailored attire.

If you follow the link, you can actually read the dress code. It makes very clear that things like make-up and jewelry restrictions are gender-neutral and it does not, for example, limit those forms of expression to female-identified students. This parent was very careful to select just one very small portion of a…

Tshirts had to be clean and solid-colored. Sweatshirts could only be school-branded. And shorts had to be knee-length when standing. (For all genders and ages.)

Yeah, I left the classroom to go on to a top law school and now I’m an education civil rights lawyer. But don’t let that dissuade you from making your rude (and sexist) generalizations about traditionally female-dominated careers!

The school didn’t sell her the dress. They don’t have to allow kids to wear anything on the ground that it was bought in the properly-gendered section of a store.

Could you help me find the place where I suggested that he was wrong for writing a blog post? I disagree with him based on my experience on the other side of this, but I don’t think I ever said that he was wrong for speaking up about his view.

I’m suggesting that anyone can shop in any section.

I don’t recall that ever being used as an explanation for any of our dress code rules. We were taught that there are appropriate ways to dress in different settings and that our school dress code was designed to prepare us for the professional world.

So then this dad should take it to the school board. Rally parents! Organize students! Tell them he wants to rewrite the dress code! If they don’t listen, vote them out of office. I’m not saying this is the most best ultimate ideal dress code - but it isn’t unreasonable.

But here’s the thing, I had a student once come in wearing what was clearly a sexy adult negligee as a dress (over leggings and a tshirt so it was fine). But in this example, would it be ok to make her change cause she’s not wearing the right kind of spaghetti strap? And who gets to decide?