Pump the brakes. It’s going to vary depending on what you’re cooking, how you’re cooking it, heat setting, the heat transference of the pan, fat used, smoke point of the fat, the type of heat source.. almost as if cooking isn’t an exact science, but something to embrace as a unique experience every time you step up to…

Damnit!

overqualified, thank you for your interest

It’s adorable that you believe there will still be textbooks in 50 years.

Most people I know that I consider fully formed grown-ass adults have either deleted their personal twitter account or never had one to begin with (myself included). Some still have to deal with it through their business but all of us have to struggle with news media’s inability to distinguish between a tweet and an…

As a student of history, I cannot wait to see what the textbooks 50 years from now have to say about this era. I figure it’ll be just a full chapter of a long, exasperated sigh punctuated with “fuck it”

So, a Trump loving guy just happens to kill a mafia crime boss while Trump has allegedly been nefariously involved with the mafia doing shady deals with them for decades all while the Mueller investigation is digging into Trump Organization business dealings.

The ability to use Twitter is a vital part of modern citizenship.

So long as I don’t have to be an actual attorney or a real general I’m up for it.

When I’m president, you’re gonna be my AG.

May I suggest the Twitter handle Devin Nunes’ Chode, that way he has to let his junk be described for the public record to see if is accurate or satire.

What you see here hinges on whether you believe that “Make America Great Again” is a dog whistle meant to unite racists, misogynists, and homophobes under one umbrella, or you’re delusional and don’t care about people who aren’t white men.

Hey you can’t cross a desert in the face of staunch resistance unless somebody is providing the staunch resistance. Think about it. 

“I was promised candy upon entering this panel van.”

Honestly, it just doesn’t track at all.

As seen here:

Putting aside what a piece of shit family Jay comes from, this is one of the dumber quotes in the history of paid endorsements

This guy’s a fucking hero.

“Caravans of progress take time to cross a desert of resistance,”

If there is one lesson a person should take from the 2010s, it is that people who are personally nice to you are invariably good in all other areas.