Fuck. Now I feel like a humungous asshole because my real name is Flounder Blutarsky.

"Wait...jorts are from the 80's?!?"

Two more layoffs in Bristol oughta cover it.

Fuck Me, I Can't Even Fucking Talk

Everyone doesn't like Sarah Lee.

"Now, they were underpaying me in the first place anyway...[T]then I got in my Rolls..."

That first pic looks like a SUPER fucked up band photo.

In fairness, I only said all this because we're totally anonymous. And you're welcome.

I'm not sure if your problem is that you're counting on Deadspin for relationship advice...or that you're counting on me for relationship advice. But anyway, tell him that you squirt and then try drenching him in the shower. It's the least shocking way and the most easily remedied. Then you can progress from there.…

Uh...yeah. It's an awesome thing.

Hi, Emily! :-)

Plus, he tried to hold YOU accountable for HIS error. That's even worse, in my book.

CURMUDGEON DUAN

Am I the only one who wants that "PROFESSIONAL OXYGEN" shirt from Part 4 (2:30)?

If Te'o really wants to prevent this from happening to someone else, he could start his own show called "Catfish Hunter".

A two-headed chick could blow you and rim you at the same time, right? I mean, depending on the position of her heads and the flexibility of her necks(s).

Name: Lawrence Taylor

Meanwhile, Lonesome Rhodes tried to convince Dockett that treating people with such disdain wouldn't have any negative consequences.

Lax bro...relax, bro.

She'd have more hope solo.