Just you watch, they’ll draft another point guard because they do these things in 3s, like you’re supposed to.

I can’t figure out if this comment is some sort of meta-satire. Exaggerating actual points to the point of ridiculousness and humor while ostensibly being serious is so clearly the dictionary definition of satire that being unsure if it is satire has to be a joke at the expense of the sorts of people who thought Swift…

put it straight into my veins

What’s Eating Rodney Hood?

It’s a beautiful, warm day up here in Southern Ontario but I’m stuck in a cold basement all day. So, if it’s ok with everyone, I’ll just keep this blog open on my desk all day so I can bask in the heat of these scorching taeks. Keep stoking that Kinja!

Was it more this:

That’s weird to me, I was thinking the exact opposite. Why would I get involved here?

I think you misspelled “Sephardic”

Might his issue have been that the volleyball coach couldn’t find any bland platitude to say about Rosen? Like, that he couldn’t even come up with “Oh, he’s a great guy, a leader of men, really like what he’s done for the program, and by the way his girlfriend is over there if you want any more detail.”

I think it was the “Aaaa, you should ask his girlfriend” at the beginning that was weird. As in the coach knew something, or had a negative opinion of Rosen, but didn’t feel it was his place to talk about it. I think a normal reaction someone expects when they ask about a person is “Oh, Josh? Yeah he’s a good kid” or…

It’s pretty obvious. Highsmith is uncomfortable with Jews who date tall shiksas.

Dear [Volley Ball Coach],

Um, I think we’re all missing the point. Clearly Rosen’s girlfriend had her wits about her in the airport and, knowing it was the Browns, made something up that would “turn them off”. Brilliant strategy on her part.

“sometimes he doesn’t call back right away and I get worried because I don’t know where he is or who he could be talking to”....

Is anyone surprised that the Browns are outsourcing their scouting to a collegiate women’s volleyball coach? It is a perfectly Browns-like move.

(((something)))

If the Browns decided there was something about Rosen they didn’t like, I would take that to mean he will be an excellent NFL quarterback.

Maybe she was ugly or a minority or something else that an NFL exec wouldn’t like, like maybe she was really tall but not super skinny. GROSS!

Unless Rosen’s girlfriend is homeless, I don’t see how any of this is relevant information.