This is so funny and cute. Such a quintessential mom-t(w)een story for our times.

Dear PKB

It’s super easy to read tone into text. I had to teach my dad that capslock was read as the equivalent of yelling (which, in my family, is 73% likely to be the case anyway). His response email?

“CaliforniaJones, I DID NOT KNOW CAPS WERE YELLING! I WAS NOT YELLING AT YOU! Love, Dad”

Another rule, if you’re a dad, you must write texts like a letter.

I’m not crying. YOU’RE crying

That was nice.

“great numbers, bad teammate.”

No. Patrick left out the part about being 19 in 7th grade.

The Falcons pass defense has definitely improved and could be called good for the last 8 weeks. Many of those yards given up were in garbage time. Remember that Aaron Rodgers came in white hot and the Falcons stopped him.

I think there were a decent number of other randos at Grantland who aren’t at the Ringer...people writing minor pop culture or sports blogging, but not the big names everyone was reading there. Also, it does seem to me that there was a bit of stylistic tension between him and Zach (I don’t know about Bill and Jonah…

To understand the Simmons-Magary relationship, rewatch the Bridget Fonda-Jennifer Jason Leigh scenes in Single White Female.

Name George W. Bush’s speechwriter. Do it now. Since they are all public figures, you should be able to.

Getting slapped down by Ted Cruz wasn’t enough for you guys? You have to go after Simmons too?

certainly Favreau/Pfeiffer/Vietor’s roles in the White House were monumentally more important than what they did for The Ringer but I don’t think you can argue their celebrity hasn’t been significantly enhanced by their podcast, which seems to be point Simmons is making. it’s probably the only non-terrible point he…

Correct. The idea that a speechwriter for Obama is currently a ‘star’ is insane. Not everyone follows politics like most commenters here. Saying he could be made a ‘star’ is quite a bit different than saying that being a star would be more important to him than being a speechwriter.

Guh? The Ringer writes tons of political content on its own, has a political podcast, and awkwardly shoehorns politics into sports articles every single day.

snark all you want but I thought for the first podcast Simmons had hired the director of Iron Man to do a political podcast. Maybe its my own ignorance, but I think you have to follow politics very closely to know speechwriters let alone call them a star.

As someone who used to attend these shows for work: it’s super annoying if designers go rogue. It’s bad enough that some designers want to show in ‘exotic’ locations and you’re stuck in traffic or public transport for an hour and a half, losing precious time. Don’t forget it’s work for a lot of people (fashion…

I’m sure they have overlapping schedules, but maybe try thinking of it like a major, multi-day music festival (inexact comparison). Rarely if ever will you see two Big Deal performers playing the same time slot. There’s a “main stage” for a reason, and it serves the performers as well as the audience. I imagine it’s a…

the use of the asterisks is a dead giveaway. Who would use asterisks on deadspin?

It’s fine, this is an ancient copy/paste job (at least 5 years old, probably older). Fairly sure it never happened.