I think it might be PTSD. I would never diagnose anyone but I’m close enough to know that it can really fuck you up

How many people do yo think are on medication for anxiety and depression? It feels like everyone. Does that make anyone else sad?

Indeed.

They both speak as if they were trying to rearrange the placement of their teeth with their lips and air out their uvulas, simultaneously and discreetly.

I sent it to a friend in the FBI. She owed me a favor.

There’s really nothing that can be done at this point. It’s in God’s hands, he’s pretty pissed off about the gays and stuff so he decided to send this hurricane. All you can really do now is repent. Oh and we should probably eliminate FEMA entirely and let the free market handle this.  

Hey- they held a prayer meeting and scheduled people in shifts to stand on the beach holding Bibles up to ward away the storm. What more could you possibly ask for?

I had an ex tell me he wanted an open relationship and I shrugged and said sure. he couldn’t find anyone willing to go near him and I constantly was getting hit on. He got furious and decided that I could only date other women. I rolled my eyes and then he saw I was talking to women. But they were “butch” and not…

This screams COWOORRRKKKKEEEEEEEEEER HOOOOKUP!!

Dear MVP,

Lynchburg, Virginia.

Dayum! I’ve seen better kerning on teeth in “certain” parts

Sheesh. Looks like proper kerning died, too.

So today alone I heard about 4 different people who regret their Trump votes. A neighbor’s husband, a friend’s elderly mother, and two other acquaintances, they think he’s a big dope now. Isn’t that so nice of them to have a change of heart? A change of heart that’s too little and too fucking late to reverse course…

Unsolicited advice from someone who survived a very necessary estrangement from her own mother: beware of anyone who attempts to convince you that you should be able to look past this. I wish someone had told me 20 years ago that “blood is not thicker than safety.” Thank you and good luck.

The bright spot in all of this is I made friends everywhere I went. The two people I traveled with will be my friends for life. A woman who had never met us bought us lunch. We had trouble making it to the next town hall at times because all of the progressives congregated together afterwards and couldn’t stop…