The drivers who tear into our cul-de-sac are the ones with kids. I imagine it's because they're so scheduled up to their eyeballs they can't waste those extra seconds to, you know, not risk hitting someone else's kids in the cul-de-sac.

Hey, man, I can't drive 55.

People used to do that crap in my old neighborhood. The city wouldn't do anything about it, fortunately the oak trees did. By the time I moved, the street was so cracked and broken that you'd need a tank to go over it at more than about 5 mph.

That would have been the ending had she not been an adorable little white girl.

That's a whole lotta narcissism, don't you think?

ah doritos... my ultimate trigger food. My husband can not bring a bag into the house cause I will hunt it down like some bloodhound and eat the entire bag.

I just came here to say that Doritos Salsa Verde are the best Doritos of all time!!!!!!!!

There was ONE collisions bag that was really good. It was a combination of cool chips and spicy chips. Maybe buffalo and ranch / blue cheese? *googles* Yup! That was it! We JAMMED on bags of those. I was secretly pleased when they were pulled off the market, mostly because we were up to eating nearly one a day.

So I'm supposed to post a photo of my puppy here, right? Here's Coleman after a rousing round of fetch:

One of my friends had one of these. We were both 22, recent college grads. Mommy and Daddy threw her the most ridiculous wedding I've ever seen outside the Godfather. There was a full live band AND a string quartet, for chrissakes.

I.

Oh please. I was everyone's 'worst roommate ever.'

There is an amazing movie theater close to where I work where you select your seat beforehand (like in an airplane) and everyone gets a huge leather recliner to sit in (unlike an airplane). No need to put coats on seats or anything. Also, the tickets cost the same as at all of the other local theaters, so no premium…

YES.

If you moved the context of these offenses from a random elevator or the movie theater to public transportation, I think people would agree they are alot more infuriating. The train is not going to leave without you, platform people, there's no need to shove me back INTO the car to get on. Unless you want to be sure…

"Eventually we must all offer up our celebrity crushes to our significant other and stand there, naked and vulnerable, to be judged for them."

Replying to my own comment to note that I am LMFAO over the troll who equated not wanting my dogs to be subjected to hours of NOISE with hating America. Go back to Yahoo, hater...

X (pronounced "multiply")

Would anyone be interested in my similarly-themed DIY article, "Everything I Fucked Up While Trying To Act Like Anthony Bourdain For Most of My Twenties"?