“I had an error in the night.”

There was a little girl at my daughter’s birthday party who told everyone she had 20 coats. I’ll believe the 4 year old who was trying to upstage the birthday girl over Trump.

All the dress shops in town, you say?

I don’t think he buys what he’s selling. “They’re running out of dresses” is such a simple-minded, naive fabrication that it’s almost charming, but no I honestly believe this is KILLING Donald. He pulled the mother of all cons to win King Of The World, and no one will come to his party, because no one loves him. This…

How old is he?

“Republican bitch babies” is the new “lesbian shit-asses.”

Can’t Jonny Lee Miller be in the movie, too?

This isn’t meant to be directed at you, but I get really tired of the way Republicans talk about my home region. I am Midwest small town born and raised, and I’m a liberal. I come from parents who are liberal, and grandparents that are liberal, all from small towns in the Midwest as well. When Republicans try to talk…

In happier news, a woman who was born prior to women being allowed to vote just cast her ballot for Hillary Clinton. It’s pretty incredible to think all that this woman has seen in her lifetime and that she is alive today to not only vote but for the first female presidential candidate.

And in the UK’s retelling of American history, the settlers provided their corn to the natives.

I’m doing my best but none of it comes naturally to me. Like I am not one of those moms who will tell my kid “here have the last piece of pizza EVEN THOUGH YOU’VE ALREADY HAD 5 SLICES AND I’VE ONLY HAD 2.” I’m the type that will say “hell no, that’s my piece. go get some damn cereal if you’re still hungry!”

I can think of many greater gifts that a god can grant you, gifts that do not shit constantly or vomit or take all of your goddamn money.

Trump failed and got booed because he didn’t tell jokes. Other than a few jokes to start and the sick burn on his wife, he just gave his normal Trump stump speech.

I found myself fondly reminiscing the days when tying your dog in its crate to the roof of your car was an authentic election season scandal. Life was simpler then.

My 13-year old daughter heard that and blurted out, “Holy shit! He’s so stupid!”

when hilary smiles because she knows trump is becoming unravelled while speaking...

This is kinda like that time my ex brought my ex best friend that he fucked while we were married as his date to a wedding where we were both mutual guests. But worse?

I currently live in Houston but grew up about a mile outside of a small, coal mining town in north central West Virginia. According to the most recent Census our population is about 375 people - meaning, everybody knows everybody, including the people who lived outside of the main street-is kind of area. The house…

My mom tells us not to talk about it, but there is something sensitive about our family. We feel things, and then we bite our tongues to prevent bothers from thinking we are nuts.

WHY ARE YOU SO CALM???? Ugh...horrifying.