Can we talk about how upsetting it was for me that no one let that poor rabbit have a fucking bowl of cereal? JUST GIVE HIM THE CEREAL ALREADY, YOU MONSTERS

I read “The Da Vinci Fart” in the middle of a meeting and I had an involuntary spit-cackle-spasm that I tried to cover up with a cough and it led into an entire conversation about my seasonal allergies, I don’t even have seasonal allergies

Yeah. My mom does holiday crafts for her class but keeps them generic (like mother’s day is a flowered frame but it doesn’t actually say mother’s day) and makes sure the kids know they can go to anyone since lot are missing one or both of their parents.

I have always loathed this “holiday,” but now that I have my own children I tolerate it. They give me Nutella and let me sleep in, and in return I work to make them feel all the love, support, and acceptance that was sorely missing from my childhood.

YOU ARE NOT! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL AND LOVED.

Margaret Atwood tweeted at me once and I about shat myself.*

* By “shat,” I mean that I told everyone about it. “Who is Margaret Atwood?” asked my brother. “What is Twitter?” asked my dad. “Who are you?” asked the cheesemonger at Whole Foods who was showing me where the gouda was.

We’d still eat Kraft Dinner, just more of it.

But we would eat Kraft dinner.

But if I had a million dollars I wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinner.

Yeah, I always thought breastfeeding was milk! I had no idea you could get cereal out of those things.

This warms my heart.

You are stunning and perfect.

I agree wholeheartedly but have to tip my hat to season four. John Lithgow crushed that.

So children are very much like cats then!

I think your phone is trying to tell you something OH MY GOD LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU

I'd probably have sex with Shia with this look.

They are the Jane Bennett and Mr. Bingley of Young Hollywood.

You know what? All of a sudden I don't care if Kyle MacLachlan does end up solving her murder.