As a former comrade, I have a message for the children of Illinois:

Amazingly, previous efforts to combat this threat by making pizza as disgusting as possibly by topping it with pineapple have gone nowhere, as there exist human beings deranged enough to enjoy just such a monstrosity.

I'm just picturing him coming to America, showing up in the nearest restaurant, weeping copiously as he eats basket after basket of bread. Finally, he's eaten enough to rupture his stomach, and he turns to the server who is trying to comfort him in his last moments and says, "I ate all the bread. I. Ate. All. The.…

Which is fitting because the only two characters I hate more than Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez are Catherine and Heathcliff.

Those other commenters are being dicks to you but I am in your corner. That was bad management.

Been lurking for years and this, this comment is the one that inspired me to comment back. Not with anything profound or witty. Just with a thanks. Best thing I've read today. You made me cry, the good kind of cry. So seriously, thanks.

Celebrity Edition!

Yeah, I sew clothes for myself and my daughter (and sometimes husband) and it's definitely more expensive than me purchasing stuff from Target or H&M. Of course, I'd put my craftsmanship more in line with the couture houses, so really I'm saving a bundle. *Hides wonky top stitching with artful hand placement*

I think the best way to avoid this kind of debacle is, if you're a scientist, to write your own press releases about your work. We do that in our lab, then we send them to our campus press office and they edit it for style and clarity, but we approve it before it's sent anywhere else. Then your own words become the…

Noooo! The villain wants to force girls into a single mode or deny them the opportunities of scouting and camaraderie with other girls. The hero may be an insanely wealthy shopaholic, but she also makes the best of every situation, teaches her troop that they don't have to change into someone else's idea of who they…

"But we've never gotten around to installing decent lighting."

1. Get rid of your shitty artwork

Uh, in a cone?

So... are there or are there not going to be enchiladas?

This is like "redacted government document on a show on The History Channel about conspiracy theories" font.

Can you be more specific? Like, what exactly do they say? "Hey you in the skirt? Way to set back the women's movement! Buy some pants!" I mean, I'm really trying to imagine how this goes down as I've never seen anything like it. I've seen a man eat a whole head of cauliflower on the bus, while crying silently. I've…

Great post! This is how you do food ingredient awareness, with actual explanations of what certain ingredients are for. Unlike Foodbabe who would say "OMG things like this are *insinuation, forget to include science facts, insinuation* poison!"

*I'm sorry Torontonians. I know you're not all crotch-grabbers.

The Hamptons are special, I learn. You can't just show up; you have to be invited.

Hospitaliano.