Off topic: I love your name so very much. This is a dark topic and that comforts me because I love kitties.

There's a dick joke somewhere in here but I'm too stoned to sort it out.

EXACTLY!

You just accurately described my life. (daughters are 4 and 5 and LOVE watching cat videos with Mama, and I often have to hurridly dismiss what I'm watching/reading due to their enthusiastic curiosity.)

Yep, because that meme only exists on 4chan and no where else, so obviously we HAD to get it there! Google Image Search? That's a myth.

Yes. Forever.

You'd be surprised what angry dudes who want to punish women for not giving them they sex they "deserve" are "for".

Why not? Are you some kind of vanilla kinky-shaming prude? Enjoy your jerkoff session and don't question the sexiness.

As a matter of fact, I masturbate regularly. Maybe if you did, you wouldn't be such a cranky little bitch?

HAHAHA! Okay, good luck with that, I'm sure the mods are going to be all over me here in *looks at watch* FIVE SECONDS.

Please hold your breath.

Did you spring a leak, butthole?

Gas-X. Try some.

I KNOW RIGHT?! Thank you!

Now stop being a butthole. Seriously.

Here on Jez about 2-3 years ago, someone posted this gif and I thought it was so hysterical, so I saved it to my computer. This is the FIRST time I've been able to use it. I'm so glad I've finally been able to!

If you have teenage children who are on reddit, that means EVERYONE on reddit are teenagers, right? Because you're the center of the universe and no one's allowed to live lives different from yours?

Hey, here's what you should do. Maybe you should stop being a snarky butthole and accept that people like and do…

If you know enough about Reddit to poke fun at someone for it, that means you're on it too.

Reading these stories keeps me sober. I make myself read them to remind myself of the shit that could be going down in my life if I wasn't sober.