NEW YORK SUCKS CHICAGO NUMBER ONE WOOOOOO

I used to play a game at my local Burger King called, “How will they mess up my order today?” I would order a #1 combo (Whopper, fries, soda), with only ketchup on the whopper.

They never got it right. Not once.

Highlights were the time I got two fries with no drink, two drinks with no fries, a chicken sandwich (do they…

Like most people, I was an gangly teen- all pimples and limbs and braces. I had a huge, super nerd-girl crush on someone I’ll call Joe. Joe was a year older than me even though he was in the same grade, and had bit puberty sooner as a consequence, so was more man-than-boy shaped. Ravelston likied.

One look at time on…

Huh. Our cat seems to knock things off more around meal time, I always assumed it was to get out attention so we would just feed her. I’ve always wondered: if we weren’t home, would she still be knocking glasses, pens, etc. to the floor?

Worst place I ever got sick was camping in the Sierra Mountains with my family. After a week of camping, on our last night, I was struck with a really nasty stomach bug. We had spent the afternoon drinking margaritas, so when the first wave of nausea hit, I thought it was the tequila. But no. How I wish it had been…

John Cho needs to be in all the shows and movies.

I'm normally a very nice person who values politeness and kindness- until this one day. I had just moved from a pedestrian-friendly city to one that required a car, and was still adjusting to car culture when I got really sick and had to go to the doctor. The office was in one of the busiest areas of the city, and I…

I'm just joking! I'm just your stalker this evening.

I had a weird obsession with cannibalism. For my 4th grade enrichment class I built a large papier mâché island featuring a volcano, trees, caves, essential cooking pot and cannibal play figures. I wish I had a picture of that. Instead I offer the Mother's Day card I made that year. Mum still has it. I can't believe…

Wait - California University of Pennsylvania? That sounds like a very confused place.

"I think a lot of this is that people who are close with their family don't understand the concept of not being close with your family."

This has been one of the most therapeutic pieces I have read in a long time. My sister and I are estranged from our mother and when people hear of this they usually paint us as spoiled children. "But that's your MOTHER!" they say. No matter that she was and is an abusive psycho who both my sister and I tried our…

This woman reminds me of my father. I've explained to him over and over again why I have a problem with him (he's an angry person who acts like a psycho) but he's decided that it's entirely something else that's just so silly and geeze, why can't I just get over it?! And he's convinced my grandmother (his mom) that…

I believe we share the same mother. I am in therapy—have been several times—and you should hear my therapist try to convince me that it isn't me. Sometimes we laugh and laugh when, after he has told me The Thing We've Been Talking About Ad Nauseam was HER FAULT because narcissist, I finally get it, and my jaw hits…

My mother has a lot of mental health issues (bipolar depression and borderline personality disorder) and she doesn't process guilt at all well. So she denies things so aggressively and persistently that you start to wonder if they ever really happened. I am (mostly) estranged from her because she was emotionally…

Can Ben & Jerry's please just make a vegan or dairy-free version so I can enjoy their ice cream? Please please please?

The clothes were simply the mask which let your cajones arise.

Sorry but there's no intelligent discourse with people whose opinion is "My sky friend told me you shouldn't do that".

True & Co. offers fairly average sized bras at the moment. Nothing beyond the range that Nordstrom can provide. This has been the case for months.

I sell soap at the farmers' market myself. I typically display it unwrapped, in flat wicker baskets, with neither an ice bath nor a box of food-handlers' gloves anywhere in sight. And the number of people who would willingly eat cheese/candy/fudge sold under such conditions astonishes me.