I lol'd literally while reading this. It started strong and ended strongerest. Thank you for being an angry prick (I assume)

In fact, I have taken the liberty of planning out the next decade of Keira Knightley movie titles for you:

He also did some shitty horror movie called White Noise, and I'm pretty sure he was in a Herbie the Love Bug movie a few years back. The only thing he's picky about is how often he does shitty movies so the poor guy can put food on the table.

If there's one thing people who are insanely overpaid need it's bags of free stuff.

No mention on how the Academy can have up to 10 nominees for Best Picture, but this year they could only manage to come up with 8?

Undercover Brother is a wonderful film.

I am convinced that Emma Stone does not have any depth perception what so ever. Her eyes are on the side of her head; there is no way she has binocular vision.

I would pay good money to see the Steven Hawking super hero movie.

On the crazy ex-gf thing: Hell yes its true, ladies. I literally have a scar on my nutbag from when she got drunk and lost her mind.

+1000 you beautiful beautiful commie bastard.

If you need more to hate on, how about the $150K gift bags the nominees get.

0 for 8 on Best Picture Nominees here, and may watch 2 of them on DirecTV at some point. A middle-aged male with lots of disposable income clearly not the target demographic here. But, in regards to the crazy girlfriend, mine snuck into my house and stood at the foot of my bed watching me sleep. Not sure for how…

By the way, a galactic FUCK YOU to this movie for inspiring four billion thinkpieces from the Problem Internet.

American Sniper is just the Marine Todd internet meme made into a movie. Remember when The Passion of the Christ came out and people were afraid to criticize it for being nothing more than two hours of torture-porn because they were afraid of going to hell? That's Sniper. People don't want to be considered…

Michael Keaton was in The Other Guys playing a hapless police boss that quoted TLC lyrics all the time. Funny movie, but he ain't picky.

It's only the beginning, but I have to pause already. Why? The following is pure gold, and actually could be extended to almost all of our sporting-culturo-artisti-academi-blogo-techno-socio-politico-economic situations. Switch out entertainment with anything.

Are we starting a pool on Fox News finally picking up on this?

wow thats a lot of loli

BULLSHIT I DIDN'T VOTE FOR THIS

I'm not a fan, but Lady Gaga sort of has her shit together. I thought she'd end up broke with all those outfits. And she has a great voice, which is rare for a successful pop singer. So yeah, I guess I finally relent & like her?