how long would it take for the world to find out that all bananas in grocery circulation were clones??

You realize, of course, that all bananas in circulation RIGHT NOW are actually clones.

Shopping for booze is half the fun.

I leave my wife in the car. 1) I, too, love shopping for booze and I must cut that time short.…

Early in the summer, we went to our cousin’s house for food and drinks. Now, he’s justly proud of his deep-fried catfish, so when it came out of the boiling oil, we couldn’t wait for it to cool off. I have never been so joyously in pain.

I’m with you on this. Look at that image you chose - he perfected Game Show Host.

He’s been doing that from the start. He’s stopped for hot dogs, burgers, deli sandwiches, not to mention whenever he takes Michelle out for dinner - he likes to eat out (at restaurants).

Go inside. What is wrong with you?

He also got a HUGE deal from Fox right after that when they bought all 100 episodes of Anger Management up front.

Aw. Her jury duty hair is SO CUTE.

Judge Kornreich rejected all of Kesha’s claims in April, including that she was the victim of a hate crime on the grounds that, “Every rape is not a gender-motivated hate crime.”

Wait, what? Did this actually make sense to anyone?

“Hillary and trump are the most unlikable candidates in a long time.”

Fear, indeed. She will not play pattycake with Republicans like Obama tried to do. They hate her, SHE HATES THEM.

How stupid is sexism? Marvel leaving Black Widow money on the table. (They could knock out a ScarJo movie for what it cost Luc Besson to make Lucy and keep ALL THE CASH.)

“hijinks” is never a good sign when describing a movie.

Damned fine parody, there. I mean, you know you’re full of shit, right?

Get the fuck out of here with this shit.

*Nods*

Do it for him.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Tim and Eric: Awesome Show

I came here for this. Was not disappointed.

Heretic.

I think all Targets do that. We’ve wound up in maternity more times than I can count.