All hail the No. 1 champion of unforced errors and self-inflicted wounds.

Robert Jeffress is what it would look like if you sold your soul, but all you got in return was a gift card from the Dollar Tree.

Sixth grade little league All-Star game. We were playing for third place and were down 8 runs in the last inning. We donned our rally caps and started cranking out runs. I had a hit earlier in the inning and came back around to bat again with the score tied, bases loaded and two outs. The pitch went to full count, and…

Nailed it. SHH just said the tweet wasn’t sexual and if you think it was, YOU’RE the one whose mind is in the gutter. JFC

My costume was UNACEPTABLEEEE! (Lemongrab for my kids, we watch Adventure Time together.)

Blockbus-turd

THEORY: he really does have dementia, and this allows Ivanka to assume a more active caregiver role, always nearby in case of cognitive lapses.

Fuck coal, though, for real.

So I grew up near Columbia in the racist redneck hinterlands, went to Mizzou, and lived out of state for a decade before moving back. Racism isn’t exclusive to this neck of the woods, but we certainly have the right ingredients for this particular kind of flare up. The University blesses us with students and faculty…

If that's the case, then I have a list of shirts he needs to wear next...

Rushmore

And to top it all off, it was HOMECOMING! I live in CoMo, and the whole town was moping around on Sunday. You could feel the sad in the air.

I would've made a great WR, but my dumb middle school coach put me on the OL in 8th grade, so I never tried out in high school.

I second bringing back Greggggggggg... I usually had to close my office door before reading that section.

I eats me spinach!

I assume they double as a bottle opener right?

Failed to remove hat during the National Anthem.

Aaaaah! My Achilles tendon!

Hills and intervals. It's a simple solution (doing it's the hard part).