Meeee-owwwww!

That moment when you realize the three, overweight nerds around you want more than just a high-five.

Good God, did Deadspin draft Geno Smith?

Or Michael Silver stories where the first five grafs are Michael Silver trying to show you how cool he is by talking about how Michael Silver was watching a Pats game at a bar with Tom Brady's sister.

+1

They said that about Hall of Famer Jeff George, too.

It's actually a pretty valid expression, and when you're old enough to realize there's shit you don't know, and you watch other people pop off about shit you know that they don't know, you'll come to appreciate it.

Text messaging and looking at Twitter? The nerve! It's almost as if he's a millennial.

Wow, this guy's a douchebag.

All youu assholes tawlk hella funny, bro.

Yes. Tasty, addictive, Whippets are named after a dog. That's my first association there, too.

... aside from a brief return to glory in the early aughts ...

That's a pick, bro.

So he's back off the wagon again?

Forgot to mention that last night was Josh Hamilton Appreciation Night in Oakland.

Who the fuck is Chris Broussard?

She would be in the know (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samantha_…)

As if CP didn't have a hard enough time getting over with Vikings fan as it is, Minnesota is Target country.

These cover selections just come earlier and earlier.

Amen. Dude won hella Superbowls. I mean playoff games. I mean regular season games. I mean, well, he ran good.