The players these days, what with their Sports Centers and their top tens. Back in my day, a Sports Center was whatever abandoned field had the fewest land mines lying around.

Rob Ford: And this goes in the pipe how?

Manny Machado's unreal throw vs. Yankees

Tiny Tim needs to get the fuck over it already.

Perkins: "They just let anybody in the locker room?"

It would have been 64 but he rimmed out a five footer.

Shut up, Jameis.

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."

I'm just excited to hear that some Gators made it into the EndZone.

"This is disgusting. There are people named 'Blackmore?'" - Luis Suarez.

Slide to the left... One hop this time.

SLIDESHOW: THE 400 PLAYERS MOST DESREVING OF GOING TO TEH HALL OF FAME

Sell the vote to Bleacher Report for 30 million dollars.

Pete Rose.

My uncle used to look, blankly, from across the room at least 6 times a day. He did that for 23 years after his return from Vietnam

So a Bears fan walks into a bar...

So much for the Meet and Greet with Al Davis.