"You don't ask him to switch, you hit him with the switch"

Change your name.

Just put it all on Kobe, not like he'll want to pass the blame to anyone else

"We've got to understand who we're battling now," Thomas said

Great move by the Cincy management, Dan Snyder should read this and take notes on being a decent human being. Fuck Dan Snyder

I am so profoundly excited that these columns are back. Wonderful to be consuming some fresh haterade as the summer moves back to fall.

What a D-Bag

Not true. He could die, like Matt Schaub.

Brazil's asylum process consists of a single question:

You're welcome Cleveland.

To be fair, it was a Trader Joe's.

Yeah but right now you suck.

THIS IS JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE PUSSIFICATION OF AMERICA. YOU DON'T SEE GREG SCHIANO STAYING HOME SO HE CAN CARE FOR HIS WIFE, TERRI. AND SHE'S IN A DAMN COMA! SMH!1!

You think this is bad? Steve McNair got taken out by a 20 year old chick.

Note: if anyone has any The Big Lebowski comments to make, please go cram it. The movie's been out for like 15 years. We've seen it. Carry on.

Note: I also disagree that a White Russian is a "wimpy" or "lame" drink to order. They're goddamn delicious. Carry on.

Note: No, I don't why the bar was out of cream. Poor logistics management, I guess? Carry on.

Note: this explanation assumes said White Russian was made with whole milk instead of cream. Carry on.

Note: this joke assumes drink in question was a White Russian. Carry on.

What do you expect? He wasn't about to cry over it.