The cobbled together quality was part of the ambition. This was a movie deliberately built out of homages. It was like a Tarantino space opera: a reductio ad absurdum of post modernism applied to a movie screen. Still a lame script, but they were clearly trying for something with it.

As I watched it, I kept remembering how much more I enjoyed Phantom Menace. After I got home, I put on some Clone Wars and enjoyed that more.

I was twelve in 1977. The first three movies bracketed my adolescence. I enjoyed the prequels. I am not alone. Wrap your head around it.

I liked them

This was an ambitious failure. A full throttle trainwreck. Many bad things, but not lazy.

It was a tedious, random collection of “things Star Wars fans want to see.”

This is more or less how it was explained to me in the 1970s, and I don’t recall hearing about this Jupiter Shield hypothesis. Am I so out of date that this has come and gone before I heard about it, or was my dad just that far ahead of the curve?

Here’s a theory:

Dude: your background music is stepping on your lines. Check your audio levels when you do this stuff.

Never mind the weight limit, the sign clearly said “No Semis”

I don’t even go to the movies anymore. I want to. I keep almost doing it. But the sameness of it all has gone beyond the limits of my tolerance.

I believe 1800 is the estemated temperature of an office supply-aluminum fuselage-jet fuel cocktail, but I don’t have confirmation.

That’s pretty much exactly what it looks like. It’s like the alternate timeline next big thing after water clocks. There’s no reason for it to exist now, but it’s too cool not to build at least a few, so they did.

As soon as the parachute opens, she starts looking a little sad.

As long as they play it like a town of 5100, we can dismiss the sign as a teenager’s prank.

51K will get you a good size downtown, multiple stop lights, corporate logos on every corner, your very own jail and a class of citizens who are in and out of it. A small city, or a large town depending on how you look at it.

Star Trek is the ultimate zombie franchise. It is completely painted into a corner and will never regain the qualities that made it special.

It’s the only one that feels like a continuation of the series. This makes it the most un-Star Wars thing possible, which is why people in 1979 reached the consensus that it sucks. That consensus has remained by tradition.

One thing is for certain: you understand the voices of these three characters better than any of the NuTrek writers so far.

That is actually a very good onomatopoeia for a goat. I think we need to make it the new standard.