Martinez: "Pick up the fucking balls. You’re part of this fucking team."

As Evil Willow would say, "Bored now." Amanda Palmer needs to take a vacation from being Amanda Palmer.

Based on the rest of Hernandez cover-up skills, I sincerely hope they looked for the gun in his hand first.

Luckily for the divers, virtually everything in Bristol is shallow.

Fingerprints on a number of recovered footballs were confirmed to belong to Tim Tebow, however.

The Giants wish for nothing more than for this flock of seagulls to run so far away.

How can anyone live off of $25,000.00 a month? It's amazing to me she's still alive; poor thing.

Wow, Chris Brown is gonna be hella disappointed when he finds out beating cancer isn't what he thinks it is.

It's like certain factions of my BabyCenter message board come to life!

The world's game, they said. Our games are boorish, they said.

"You know, now that I think about it, maybe I really could improve in some areas..."

It shoulda been you, Angel Hernandez.

Once again, a boring soccer game ends in a 1-1 tie. Not sure why they didn't have a shootout to decide it, though.

Indian rappers call each other Redskins all the time, so it's all good.

"There's a reason the government exterminated these people in the 19th century." —Peter King

Both mother and daughter were very proud of the fact that, in true Patriot fashion, Hernandez tried to destroy any video evidence of wrongdoing.

"I firmly stand by the Commissioner on this issue."

Or is Kate Winslet just going to Rick Rocknroll us all?

Threw a few D batteries at a AA pitcher at the park tonight. First time. Got kicked out and he got so pissed thought he was gonna cry............your a baseball player. Be thankful. Bro.