The accused quarterback's name is Fields Chapman.

A day following writer Scott Rosenberg would have been better spent:

My hometown: Smallest State, with the Longest Name!

That's CharlesTOWN, RI. Fuck.

I, for one, was just fucking with you. Apologies. I always feel bad on Monday.

You edited it Paul. Fess up.

Still... Go Clippers!

How do you feel about cock, Captain?

I knew it. I KNEW you were a security guard!

I still think you're a security guard.

Vichy, France ring a bell?

Hellfire and Damnation, Scientology gave me a career: http://www.hollywoodinterrupted.com/2006/03/23/ebn…

I sing this song about every dog that ever died on me, replacing "Brandy" with the dog's name:

Unrelated, but you reminded me of when an Esquire editor reminded me that I was "lucky" to be writing for the magazine. Bitch, please.

Woody Harrelson in Natural Born Drinkers. That's all I've got.

I happily rolled in a customized, air-cooled '69 VW Bus Transporter for years. Damn thing survived two x-country road trips, and a couple of engine fires. I considered it "homeless insurance," until some wealthy Japanese collector took an undeniable interest in it.

That is SOME flow soundtracking this little gem.

Go Bolt, or stay home.

"Resolve her story" means getting shanked for snitching.

A wise man once told me that the way to get a lady off is to trace the secrets of the Rosetta Stone on her clit with the tip of your tongue.