I still think you're a security guard.

Vichy, France ring a bell?

Hellfire and Damnation, Scientology gave me a career: http://www.hollywoodinterrupted.com/2006/03/23/ebn…

Related - This is what happens when you slack:

I sing this song about every dog that ever died on me, replacing "Brandy" with the dog's name:

During my "gap year" with an internship program in Worcester, MA circa 1977, one of my housemates, Bob, had CP so severe he was almost completely non-verbal and confined to a wheelchair. Otherwise, he was super intelligent - struggling through an internship in Urban Planning. Bob was so twisted up, he could not even…

Unrelated, but you reminded me of when an Esquire editor reminded me that I was "lucky" to be writing for the magazine. Bitch, please.

Woody Harrelson in Natural Born Drinkers. That's all I've got.

I happily rolled in a customized, air-cooled '69 VW Bus Transporter for years. Damn thing survived two x-country road trips, and a couple of engine fires. I considered it "homeless insurance," until some wealthy Japanese collector took an undeniable interest in it.

That is SOME flow soundtracking this little gem.

Go Bolt, or stay home.

No list of vadges is complete without "quivering snitchie."

"Resolve her story" means getting shanked for snitching.

A wise man once told me that the way to get a lady off is to trace the secrets of the Rosetta Stone on her clit with the tip of your tongue.

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations brought you Newport Creamery chain, and now there are only 13 withering locations (11 in Rhode Island and 2 in Massachusetts).

And yet, your boyfriend calls your quivering snitchy a "hagbag." Dump him.

Horse-cock trifecta: Liam Neeson, James Woods, Ed Begley Jr.

Perhaps more "prescient."

Because he's dead now? Saw that coming...

Kanga, Kay'Niga, Kennedy, Kharnye, Kirby, Kuhuk, Krystal, Kunti.