Also he took responsibility for the shootings, like a big boy. 

I literally think surfers, stoners, and Keanu Reeves.

Being from SoCal, everything is a “dude”. My car is a dude, that cat crossing the road is a dude, that cool tree is a dude, this slice of pizza is dude... but with that said, that’s a weird way to put it.

Ok, so I said stripper, and you said prostitute. Do you think strippers are bad? Do you think all strippers are prostitutes? Do I ask questions like they are accusations?

That picture screams 50+ year old twice divorced dad, window and siding salesman, who sniffs bicycle seats at the local playground on his downtime.

That girl just cannot find herself attracted to a decent one. She needs to fall for a trainer, or dog walker, or the dude who mows her lawn. The right dude would love her, carry her purse, take her kids to dance class and would not give one freaking fuck about her being JLo but just love her and her kids and be…

I’m really sorry your father abused you like that. 

As a former child myself, I’m astonished the shit adults inflict on children that we’d never do to another adult.

Yeah, did this need to be said? There is no magic. Sorry about Santa Claus. The end.

Rocks and minerals and crystals are excellent ways to appreciate the glory of nature and the earth and geological processes and all that. But they do not have magical properties.

It’s like an egg had a baby with the void.

Its the implied message of the American Work Ethic: “Work really hard and you’ll have a chance to taste what was handed to me on a silver platter.”

Well, yes, but then they’ll get pissed off that it’s taller than they are.

In White History Month, there would be an entire diorama display on tights.

Supposedly Tsar Nicholas and family had jewels in London. After their deaths in the Revolution, this collection magically showed up in the BRF’s collection a few decades later.

As if Meghan requested to wear the those special earrings “You know, the ones that the saudi murderer gifted us”.

With 2 senators per state, the minority party in this country (republicans), represent roughly 15 million fewer people than the majority party. I don’t think the senate should be abolished but maybe California with about 40 million people and a bigger economy than most countries should have a bigger say than Wyoming,…

Remember when the English were oppressing Scotland, and William Wallace took a quick boat ride to France? It’s okay, though, his daughters had asked him to, and he totally intended to come back the next day so he could hand out mead and bubonic plague to the masses.