Herman Cain: COME TOWARD THE LIGHT! DON’T BE AFRAID!!!

It’s hard to decide what’s cringier about the Cal Cunningham sexting situation: the fact that he (a married man) is sexting with a married woman, or the punctuation he chose in the sexts.  

No matter how he performed at the debate, Trump will hate being quarantined for 14 days in the White House. Trump LOVES going to rallies he’d never pass up an opportunity to get their praise since it goes against his need to be loved by people.

I don’t know why you don’t have more numbers, goddess. This was my first thought too. “See, we have the China Virus and we don’t even feel it, you left wing crybabies. Watch me do pushups and eat a whole bucket of KFC without sweating. I CAN TASTE IT TOO, LOSERS!” I’ll believe this when I see a REAL test result.

Just one question: what do you think the Republican response would be if Biden had tested positive right after the debate with Trump? How fucking fast would the conspiracy theory machine spin up that Biden knew he was positive all along, and was trying to infect Trump? How fucking nuclear would Trump have gone in that…

Well, that’s one way of getting out of the rest of the debates.

Because it is 2020 and we live in the darkest timeline, I am guessing that the most likely outcome from all of this is Trump’s KFC coated arteries hold up and he is fine, but he transmitted it to Biden who will die on November 2

“the end of the pandemic is in sight.”
- Trump Oct. 1, 2020

Here’s hoping she has a cool aunt or someone to introduce her to lady punk bands and feminism.

I had metastatic testicular cancer about 10 years ago, which resulted in a surgical scar from my pelvis to my sternum. I beat the cancer, and contemplated a decoration for a couple years. For some reason, a working lunch turned down this road, and I told my boss at the time that I was going to get an alien tattooed,…

He groped me at an event at the Javitz center in the 90's. I was a complete stranger and just a young gal in my 20s. This is his M.O.

The story of them taking a sledgehammer to the local synagogue’s Rosh Hashanah beehives so perfectly encapsulates them, a screenwriter would reject it as too broad.

My understanding is that the bees were not allowed as per local ordinance. (This is neither surprising, nor uncommon.) However, the hives were supposed to be a short-term project for children to raise money. If that wasn’t enough to wish hellfire upon this couple, the act of personally destroying the apiary was part…

And it never occurs to them that the offspring of a slave and a slave owner was at best a coerced relationship and at worst rape.

Q: What’s the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg?

Can somebody explain to me how Kamala Harris is an African American?