I am a curse on weddings. You could send a black cat across the aisle in front of the advancing couple and it would be less of an ill omen than having me anywhere in the building or within five kilometers of where a wedding is happening.

No. Being a blast would bring along with it a number of risks that could negatively impact my life insurance premium.  End communication.

Yeah, I’m watching my sodium too, there’s plenty in everything without adding more, generally I just pepper everything.

Dammit, it’s 3000 mg. My math was going great up until the end there...

Why do you need salt and pepper to taste when the Salad Supreme contains plenty of salt and pepper? In fact, if I use the whole container as instructed, and then figure the amount of sodium in one serving vs. the whole container, I’m looking at a pasta salad that contains 6765 mg of sodium. Oh wait! I forgot about the…

You answered your own question with ‘migrants’. Folks coming into Canada aren’t seeking a better life, they’re tourists, they’re here to look at mountains or visit their cottage, possibly bringing the virus with them. The people still looking to immigrate here still can, but they will have to quarantine when they…

Yes, such terrible persecution you’re fleeing. Sure, there’s a chance you and your whole family could be killed by a cartel in Mexico, but that’s nothing compared to the hell of having to wear a mask in public. They have no idea how easy they’ve got it in Mexico!

I know this isn’t very Jalop of me (brown manual diesel wagon and all), but why the F would anyone buy a diesel these days unless whatever country they are in heavily subsidized diesel fuel? If you want economical (and therefore you mostly drive with a light right foot), you can get a 1.5L turbo four engine that still…

Right? I saw that face and said, Not today SATIN

Lol. You listened to it. Lol. I just looked and keep going. Lol. 

Don’t forget mouth filled with salt and sewn shut. Learned that from Kolchak: The Night Stalker.

I wont feel safe until a wooden stake is shoved through Trump’s heart, his decapitated head is stuffed with garlic and his accursed remains are buried under a running stream.

If you like the flavors of the big name brands, a pinch of ground celery seed adds a subtle flavor, it is used in all of the Big Name pork sausage, Jimmy Dean, Odom, Purnell and others. If you don’t like white pepper substitute black pepper. Another hint, ground cayenne adds heat, but if you want sharp punctuation use…

My Kitchen Aid meat grinder attachment metal parts live in the freezer. I’ve had it over a decade now and it’s always been stored there. I can’t even remember where I learned this from but I probably read it somewhere, likely some forum.

This was debatable in 2000. However, it’s not in 2020.

I always liked Vince. And I’m pretty sure he was the last player in the league older than me.

Black Star initially pitched the gloves as an elegant solution that would keep your fingers from smelling like meat and generally keep those lovely hands pristine.

Good god, I really hope this glove wearing thing is not a trend. Just when the reduction in wasteful single use plastics is starting to gain acceptance, people gotta fucking come up with this shit?

Gross...smell is a big component of taste. I do not want to smell the gloves while I eat. 

The smell and feel of gloves are not something I associate with eating, nor do I want to.