I'm going to go retro this year.

This is especially hilarious in light of last night's "Community" episode which wondered, "Nicolas Cage — Good or Bad?"

But they don't let me bring a bed to work :(

I want to hug you and teach you how to stream a link and watch "Sherlock" with you!

Here is a petition to stop bigotry. Once we get enough signatures we can send it to A&E. http://wh.gov/l9E9Z

You know what I'd like to see feminist push for? Legislation that mandates a certain amount of paid maternity leave for both parents regardless of gender. Apparently, there's now a whole bunch of new women and men identifying as feminist, and sometimes it seems like we don't really have plans for funneling that into…

Time for a binge watch of all previous episodes.

I love the idea of this article, but I'm saddened that many of the suggestions involve a degree of forward planning. I was hoping for more of a "my friends came round to drop something off, now it's 8 hours later and we're plastered nd starving." I don't get to have days like that any more, but just in case I'm not…

You missed the point by a mile and a half, kiddo. Unless your fiancee is also your daughter.

I'm loling at all the "conservative" people in my Facebook feed and how angry they are that this guy is getting fired for saying what he believes in, but he's employed by a private company under their rules so tough titties for him, both parties will be fine. I just find it funny that the people who believe most in…

What is a helm without a patriarch? It is like a sky with no stars.

A reminder from your friendly neighborhood lawyer:

They also tend not to have any real illnesses. Notice how they are all trying to cure vague allergies, self-diagnosed celiac, and fibromyalgia. Not deadly peanut allergies, multiple sclerosis, or arthritis.

My brother-in-law and I got wasted in LA and went to the gates of the Scientology center, banged on them and yelled for Tom Cruise. We didn't see him but security was really nice. Does that count?

It depends on the day. I have one that's designed to be worn all day, but it doesn't look quite right under some shirts. On those days I wear a regular nursing bra and then put the cups down and the pumping bra over.

Thank you. Here's a link to their site. Getting out my checkbook.

Every fucking time I tell myself I'M NOT GOING TO CRY DAMMIT during the Joni Mitchell scene. Fuck me, I tear up every time she straightens that fucking throw on the end of the bed. Something about that action, like she's trying to make everything normal for just a millisecond...ugh, god.

Ran out of time; this was the best I could do with your composite request.

Jesus Christ, this is a shitshow of an article. And it could've been done so well, too.

My version of the Gisele picture is pumping at my desk in the office (currently doing), two layers of different colored nail polish which I didn't have time to take off (might as well just paint another color over it), and a hair style which could be described as what happens when you use too much dry shampoo.