I love you, Leslie! Stay away from Michael Phelps! He has some kind of nasty poxy disease leaving his body covered in large, red welts!

I will go to the movie where we watch Gabby Sidibae watch the Kevin Spacey cat movie!

“How does a president do that? How do you do that?” Trump said.

Don’t forget that Trump’s daughter Ivanka has already been sexually harassed — by her father. When he said he would bang her were he not her father. What a POS.

Lemme guess. She’s a Trump supporter, too.

Adrianne Curry, you’re a moron!

Dear Mrs. Baio: technically, aren’t all asses “shitasses?” Unless the ass in question has a colostomy, in which case they would be a “shit bag.” HTH!

First, I have to say, thank you to Jennifer Meyer, whoever the hell she is. I did *not* know I could wear sneakers with shorts. Doh!

What she meant to say is, a leather trouser WITH FRINGE is a must have. I mean, for all the leather trousers I have, I have zero with fringe and now I know what I must do.

Liam’s doggy has some super clean teeth! Which is important, especially if you don’t like rancid, smells-like-death breath.

I pounce on young parents who don’t have a will. And having a basic will, spelling out who takes care of the kids, can be so affordable (should a lawyer be needed. Folks do need to contact someplace like a local library to start figuring out if they can DIY in their state.) Unmarried couples with kids? Egads, the…

Obama, who kids adore, met Prince George?? BRITAIN IS OURS! For the future King of England has fallen into the spell of Obama!

I want to watch this movie just because of this clip, but do I have to watch the first one first? Or should I just because?

Wait! Am I dating Miles Teller? Because I have never seen Titanic! I must have not been in when he dropped off my iced coffee (really, rather have it hot and black, but we’re obvs still working out the relationship.)

I once had an Asian hair stylist tell me I had straight hair like an Asian, so that makes me Asian, right? Right, LuAnn?

Repeat it to yourself. Do it in the mirror in the morning, do it in your head on your commute, put it on notes around your bedroom. Do it whether you live alone or with 20 others. Put a note on your dog’s/cat’s collar. Repeat. Evidence shows that repeating mantras such as this, especially in the mirror to yourself,…

Also saw a pic of Mike Myers at this dinner and the man has bypassed grey hair to go total white:

I saw pictures of this dinner on a news site, and when I got to Sasha, thought “when the hell did she get to looking like an adult?!?” I suppose due in part because Obamas keeping a close watch on their daughters w/r/t the news, plus time. She’s lovely, as is Malia, who I knew was a semi-adult as she’s the one heading…

Sorry, Neko. I was unable to parse whatever positive statement you were trying to make due to your bad grammar.

You are stocked? Like with Ho-Hos, Twizzlers, Skittles, marshmallows, Hershey bars, Butterfingers, Doritos, Cheetos and every other snack food in Doose’s Market?