Never question Jim Cooke.

This is a reasonable and correct take and has no place in Kinja.

I’m fine with Bernie staying in the race to accumulate votes and show Democrats that there is broad, national support for a progressive agenda. I am not alright with him staying in the race in a desperate bid to win.

Yeah, totally. Also vaccines don't work.

I think it’ll be fun to fuck with people on the internet by prefacing everything with “Millennials won’t remember but...” and just make shit up.

#notallcigars

Izzy Alcantara knows what’s up.

Combine simultaneous phone-urinal use and dad-level (I’m assuming) touchscreen skills and you’re going to end up accidentally tweeting a mid-stream dick pic. Tread lightly, Magary.

A day is scientific. A lunar cycle is scientific. A year is scientific.

You people are fucking madmen regarding seasons. One guy says there’s four months in a season. The other doesn’t correct him and then claims winter starts on solstice.

Wayne Gretzky is in fact alive today.

If that judge is a Pats fan he’s home free!

What about that instance though where your sleeves are rolled up and you have to put your jacket back on for a minute? Do you roll them back down, knowing that you’re just going to roll them back up so soon or do you put on the jacket with the sleeves rolled up which feels weird? Plus, to see someone take off their…

About the old athletes:

Sounds like you are deflecting.

Is he going to let you have sip?

Count the motherfucking clauses in that sentence. Forget the horrifying shit show that was the topic, any editor who let that damn clusterfuck out the door should be fired on the spot for that alone.

I was 14 in 1994, puberty was a sudden transformation, and suddenly there were all these men... like, overnight I went from an awkward, invisible, book-reading person who did a lot of secret listening when adults were talking to figure things out about the world, to having an awful lot of male attention in the world.

T…

“Jesus, thats pretty bad. Ten games”

+1 new NFL PSA