I awoke one morning to what felt like a pimple in the soft, fleshy part of my earlobe. Being human, I quickly began the process of expunging this (surprisingly decent-sized) ball of mystery from my body. And I was not let down in terms of "production."

This times a thousand...when I first heard that song on the radio I was like, "Whaaaaa...? The Time are BACK, BABY."

You should try soaking pineapple chunks in dark rum and then grilling them. Tastes. So. Good. Perfect for debauched pool parties.

This is phenomenal.

This really needs to be mentioned (I didn't see it in the comments):

Eighteen years old and driving a POS Honda that lost it's luster sometime two decades prior. The setup is that we met each other as potential date material, put together by our mutual friends. Well that never worked out, but we became fast friends. Fast forward a few years and she's currently in the middle of an…

Don't we all...don't we all...

Best salutation during said holiday season: "Have a happy non-denominational seasonal celebration." Seriously though, I don't know any atheists that get 'pissed' when hearing 'Happy Holidays', but it should be noted that 'holidays' stems from 'holy day'. So there's that. And I'm an atheist. I say Merry Christmas…

This (x 1,000).

My wife and I just had a baby boy in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico at a 'Nun's Hospital'. Everything went swimmingly, but right after he was born (maybe an hour after he came out the shoot), the head nurse/nun came in and tried to help him latch on to my wife's breast. Not surprisingly, it didn't really work out, he was…

Because I could get uromysitisis poisoning and die, that's why!

+1

Not on anyone's radar, but I loved his tiny role in Ricky Gervais' 'The Invention of Lying'. Not the best movie, and a super small role for sure, but his execution was HILARIOUS. He totally steals that scene, and it will forever be my kind of 'quintessential' Hoffman, reminding me of how great he really was on…

I feel obligated to mention that I live in Mexico, and I throw a temper tantrum whenever I have to pay more than $4 for a mixed drink (rum and coke, et al.). Yeah, life sucks in paradiso. The worst is the 'big name' clubs like El Squid Roe and Mandala downtown. They charge INSANE amounts for your standard cocktail.…

What are the odds that the other guy is Carson Daly?