whatever i secretly listen to Ed Sheeran and i like him and now it’s not a secret anymore i feel so free. also i’ve watched his version of trap queen too many times come at me.

Oh shit. I just realized I’m alone on this elevator with Chris Brown.

Thank you, Bobby, for your fine artwork. It’s a drop of sunshine in depressing-news-day.

I can’t teach my dog not to pee in his food bowl....

I disagree. I think this bride _should_ confront her friend about the lack of gift, so that the bridesmaid has the opportunity to shit in a box and mail it to her, but that's just me.

“Elphabalowjob”

my husband gets a different woman every month.

If using nair, I recommend coating your inner part with Vaseline. It used to burn to pee for a couple days before I started doing that. What's the point of showing off your clean mound if you cringe at being touched? The Vaseline prevents any burns or product getting inside of you while still removing all hairs.

50 hours a week also seems like, I don’t know, pretty average? And I most assuredly receive and send emails at 10pm at night for work for next day.

yeah like one time I drank 12 diet cokes and no water and fainted and had to go to the ER but i didn’t blame my job for that because i’m the idiot who drank 12 diet cokes

Can we list the entire fucking City of New York? Holy shit, a million songs, a million patriotic poems, everyone across the globe sucking its cock, and when I finally go see for the first time at age 26...

Why the haterade for the Blarney Stone? The Blarney Stone itself is inside the lovely Blarney Castle. It’s a great stop.

More generally, people who wax poetic about the “wander the streets” school of tourism are the vacation equivalent of people who go on and on about how they don’t own a TV. I wouldn’t want to ONLY…

I visited Copenhagen last May (my GOD, what a lovely city). Looked at the Mermaid for two seconds and then walked five minutes north and visited something that Copenhagen should be promoting much more, the Kastellet. Why the Mermaid was besieged and the Kastellet, which is incredibly gorgeous and fascinating, was…

I got an engagement stove. My fiance and I love to cook together and instead of a stupid ring that I might enjoy and he’d end up paying off sometime in the distant future, we invested in an incredible stove that we would both enjoy and use every single day. It’s got two convection ovens and ten burners, two of which…

A friend of mine and her fiance are really into cars so he proposed with the project car of her dreams to be customized by her. It is pretty fucking sweet. It’s a 1952 Chevy with the roof chopped painted matte black and it is SO slick and just bad ass. So romantic to me too.

I have that same problem with her, I just never find her funny - she fits in the same trope of “goofy/stupid but lovable fat person” (sorry, best term I can find for that at the moment) - I’ve never found the trope funny and this is the sole reason I am concerned about the Ghostbusters movie because if they use her…

No love for Dr. Hunt?! When Mer and McDreamy were being too annoying, at least I had Yang and Hunt and their air vent. He may not be the best feminist ally — trying to remember the different abortion storylines — but he really did try to make things work with Cristina and supported her career. And that ginger beard of…

My friends don’t even have cottages. Here I thought I was an adult, but it was all a lie.

I’m Jewish, was raised in a home with survivors, and still thinks that Europe suffers from the legacy of Nazism and that it should not be forgotten, but this is a nonstory. She’s imitating a political figure at a time before he was infamous, and mocking him at that. Look at that ridiculous face and goose-stepping…