I will just kill myself if I ever have to stop eating cheese. A cheese-less life is not worth living.

That’s one of my favorites! Maybe second only to the Whirling Dervishes’ version of You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.

I’m sorry you didn’t get your mom’s rosette iron. There are many cookies, but rosettes are special. I have my grandma’s recipe box, so I should check and see if her recipe for rosettes is in there.

Peppermint bark is the new pumpkin spice.

I have my grandma’s spritz cookie gun. I haven’t found a good recipe yet—they’ve all been too dry and flavorless. Gotta keep trying. I also have her rosette iron.

People who live in million dollar homes with very fancy kitchens that they never cook in. Or maybe people who don’t have any better kitchen stores near where they live (I forget this, because I’m lucky to live in a place that has several excellent kitchenwares stores. We don’t have any normal stores where you can buy…

Right now, I’m hungry, it’s almost time for lunch, and I would eat that. No shame. Especially the part that involves cherry pie.

Poorly-trained circus orangutan Donald Trump

Oh my that sounds good! I need to go raid my cabinets and see if I have all the ingredients (I might not have any evaporated milk, but I think I have everything else).

I have a really good imagination, but I just cannot envision Anna Wintour playing tennis. She might get a strand of hair out of place. I think that would be very upsetting to her.

I will not lie, I want a chandelier. I don’t own a house, and I don’t have a place to put it, but I still want one so much. Extra-sparkly, please!

Wow. She really does look a lot better in the old one. Her new face looks very stiff. She’s having some trouble smiling. Now I’m wondering what happens when you try to laugh but you’ve had too much botox. I don’t think that was covered in the botox article from earlier today.

I have no idea which one is the old one and which one is the new one. Can someone please put together a timeline of the Kardashian’s new faces so I can understand this? I want to laugh too!

I went to the mall at lunchtime today. People were exceptionally hateful, which means it must be time for holiday shopping! I don’t shop much between Thanksgiving and Christmas, because it’s just too stressful.

Yeah, I don’t really understand why it would be so shameful for a woman to wear a wig. All of Trump’s wives have probably had a good bit of plastic surgery, so what’s the difference? Fake is fake. Fake boobs, fake hair, fake tan, fake butts, whatever.

This country would be a much better place if that happened. There are so many people that the media gives attention to when their 15 minutes are clearly up and they should just shut up and go away (Duggars and Palins, I’m looking at you!) But they will never go away because the media keeps paying attention to them,…

My favorite description of Trump’s hair: cotton candy made of urine. I also love the caterpillar that looks like Trump’s hair. It’s uncanny.

So ridiculous. Vanessa Hudgens doesn’t need black side panels on a dress to make her look slim, and I don’t think that’s why those black panels are there. I like her dress better anyway.

Thank you! I’m checking out the subreddit. It’s good to know I’m not the only person who has too many pens!

They stole it, but they didn’t go very far.