As a Jewish person, I am so sick of our people being dragged into this shit. Just leave us out.

They can be potty trained...mine uses a litterbox in his cage. I have to clean it out twice a week to keep fresh. Have a 2nd litterbox I bring out at "playtime" so he doesn't have to go out of living room to reach it. But he has little turd accidents sometimes, but they're hard pellets. He is trained to nibble my…

Buns are the best pets. And that bun is having the funnest time ever! You can tell s/he is happy and loved.

What he's doing is actually called "binking," (well, the jumping part is) which makes it even cuter! It means they're happy. My bunny does it all the time.

Yeah. Those "discreet tweaks" are eyeliner and age.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SANDRA'S FACE LOOKS DIFFERENT THAN IT DID IN 1995.

Kim's nose looks different. I swear she is trying to turn herself into Beyoncé.

Ladiez, you'd better be skinny (with giant knockers), and you'd better only eat 500 calories a day and run marathons to get that way. Otherwise, you're just a Fatty McChubsworth or a Cheater MacEasy-WayOut. That's right: 10% body fat, and all of it in your boobs.

And I like how they say "normal" women can't afford it. Well, normal women can't afford Gucci baby clothes either. I think we've all accepted that Kim Kardashian is richer than us.

Next week in Tabloids, see the totally hawt bikini pictures of Lea, Nicole and Christina. Get their totally amazing diet secrets now!

I am so glad that Kim Kardashian is having surgery behind my back. Cause knowing her, she might feel compelled to go under the knife on tv.

Shut all the way up right now John Stamos. I'll bet $100 your bathroom has more product in it than mine. Which is NOT girly, but c'mon man let's not pretend here.

That is the correct order. Though hedgehogs fall in the order before babies.

That was so much cuter than those creepy bathing twins!

I kinda can't handle how much I love the smell of fresh puppy. Like, all I want to do is snorgle and inhale deeply.

...You want a boy to use your...other body parts...as a teething toy? Because I don't know how I feel about that. I mean, to each her own...

Serves you right.

That cracked me up too! Partially because I was thinking, "This kid has no idea where gay marriage is legal."

I liked the rolly kid's assessment of why all states should legalize gay marriage. What if you don't want to live in that state with tornadoes but you're a guy who wants to marry a guy?!

That little girl in the fur gilet and red top dresses so much better than I do.