This video doesn’t confirm either side’s account of what happened, not at all.

Dirtiest highway exit sign in America in Troy, Michigan

Makes sense, she can’t stay with someone for too long. Otherwise they start asking questions about how she never ages and needs permission to enter people’s homes.

You’re totally reasonable on this one. In the battle between sugar and vinegar, sugar/ketchup will always take the youthful lead, but age and improved palettes typically push the needle towards the vinegary versatility of mustard.

Mmm. Intergenerational conflict. Bring on the Boomers to shake their walkers and the other Millenials to make fun of them with Snapchat filters. As a dedicated Xer, I shall dutifully express my aloofness by rolling my eyes at all of you.

Yo, we (Michigan) actually got the UP from Ohio (in a roundabout way), not Wisconsin. I think we can all agree that the UP is 100x better than Toledo, so I think Michigan came out on top of that deal.

Arrgh! The post was corrected. I know this may be controversial, But I stand by my joke. Ryan Lochte is caveman who water move good.

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

Millenials: Shake hands like a damn man. The next time I have to grab some limp-ass fish hand I’m going to just make you bow before me like the peasant you are with your puke grip.

You can't give Steve too much credit. Poor black children typically have great genetics.

The key to Steve Martin’s youthfulness is actually brilliant:

I see no problem with the underwater cameras, I see a problem with freaking out over seeing a woman’s nipple, especially in this context. They’re not sex objects, they’re athletes competing. This view gives a good look at a sport where a lot more happens under the surface of the water than the casual fan realizes.…

I think the fuel is to blame.

Not sure if this was part of the original script for Patrick Bateman in American Psycho.

Spoiler Alert: Jeremy Bentham and John Locke are the same person!

I can dig it.

Most beauty bloggers/vloggers are pretty bad at doing makeup. Most of them just cake it on. They put layers and layers of concealer/foundation/whatever on their faces. It’s ridiculous. I watch that shit religiously.

What about those of us that aren’t LGBTQ or Euro?