"The random collection of isolated and questionable photographs that the employee distributed represents selective snapshot 'moments-in-time' that without proper context can support any number of conclusions."

Hens usually get taken out back and killed when they can no longer produce eggs.........

This is completely inappropriate. English soccer teams should only have family-friendly sponsors like beer makers, online bookies, payday loansharks, and airlines owned by theocratic petro-dictatorships with horrific human rights records.

We don't want pro/rel. It's never been a part of any American or Canadian major league pro sport. Stop trying to shove this down our throats, Europe.

"There are rich teams, and there are poor teams. Then there's 50 feet of crap. And then there's us. Well, us and the Montreal Expos and Tampa Bay Devil Rays, both of which actually have lower payrolls than we do in the year in which this film takes place. Oh, and the Minnesota Twins, who have a virtually identical…

Pretty sure that first one was instituted by Mark Sanchez.

"I hold myself to the highest possible standard." - Roger Goodell

"Hey, whatever happened to breast cancer? Did they finally cure that?"

I haven't seen this many people in line for Rice since the Great Leap Forward.

Gonna be a lot of people in Baltimore with Joe Flacco jerseys tomorrow.

I didn't realize that managers also did the "slumpbuster" thing.

(Player gets arrested for weed possession): Immediate suspension

They really do work a lot better.

They really do work a lot better.

That picture. My god, there really is no limit to Dan Snyder's douchiness.

"Gather information" = Watch their backup RB put up 36 total ground yards against one of the worst rushing defenses in the league.

They were called "Hydrox" because (like Oreos) they were made with hydrogenated oil instead of cream, the former of which we now know is basically the worst thing you can eat. In a way it was kind of refreshing to see a snack say in it's very name "Hey guys - this shit is made entirely with unnatural chemicals that…

Why are they waiting until four weeks into the NFL season to premier this?

In a shocking twist, it turns out that Josh Shaw doesn't even have a nephew. Another D-1 player gets catfished.