OK. I need everyone to know this:

Whistling tea kettle...always the sign of evil approaching in the very near future.

On dating sites, it can be up to 10 years older, and don’t forget the 20lb heavier.

Your mom can come sit by me.

Tall enough when lying down, is what my mom would say after a single glass of white wine.

he’s tall ENOUGH. *WINK*

tweets without comment is not evisceration and i think this woman is hilarious honestly

It’s not about diminishing her responsibility by claiming mental illness, it’s about understanding her motives and responsibility without burning her at the stake. All this fucking hatred directed at her doesn’t do anything. Show some restraint and wait for the story to develop before eviscerating the perpetrator.

This just made me laugh. The mental image was awesome.

Yes. I recall once I put a stiff winter overcoat on my toddler son and sent him out to the backyard. He tripped of something and rolled over under a bush and because of the coat, could not maneuver. He rolled back and forth, flailing his little arms like a turtle on its back and I laughed so hard I peed a little. Poor…

Yes. In the top 5.

Is one of the unspoken benefits of parenthood that you get to laugh at the existential angst of your offspring?

The name thing aside, I find it pretty hard to believe she had never heard at least “bang a gong” before. Everyone knows that song.

For the sake of argument, let’s assume that all of Amoruso’s friends are super rich (which I highly doubt) and to them, this registry is totally reasonable. Even if that were the case, the lack of “presents are not expected, your presence is enough” language still pushes the whole thing over the edge.

I assumed she meant the dinosaur. I remember taking a trip with my Girl Scouts to a museum in Seattle and we camped the night with the dinosaurs and it was a pretty mind blowing experience.

I wonder if she listens to William Joel.

“It was the first time I head Tyrannosaurus Rex.”

Aaaaaaaaand now I want to watch that again. Dammit, I have to buy that movie on DVD.

I will take either Ellen Barkin or Allison Janney mostly cause I loved them in Drop Dead Gorgeous